A Promise To Fight
by tilthewindowsshatter
Summary: Hermione & Draco begin the 6th year being awarded the Head positions. They must live together in the same dormitory. They are put in situations where they must work together, which in the end brings them closer. Beliefs change as well as loyalties.
1. Prologue  The End At The Beginning

**Prologue - The End At The Beginning**

Hermione didn't think she was going to be able to last much longer. She had been running for what seemed like forever and a day. It was wearing hard on her and she was teetering on her breaking point. It was taking a severe toll on her body and mind. She didn't remember the last time she had actually held a conversation with anyone. When was the last time she really spoke out loud? Nothing was clear anymore. The days blended into weeks and it all was just one blur after another. She was losing bits of herself every day. The glimmer in her eyes had faded months ago. Memories were becoming distant thoughts that rarely came to mind. The people that use to fill her days with joy were undoubtedly erasing her from their lives, while she was desperately trying to keep hold of them for as long as she could.

It would never be the same though. Nothing was ever going to go back to the way it used to be. Life as she knew it was over. Hermione Granger was becoming a distant memory to all who knew her. Sadly she deserved it. She had betrayed everyone she loved and swore to fight alongside with. She was a traitor. Now there was nothing more she could do. She just had to accept it all. She knew it.

She had seen the darkness and allowed it to consume her in a time of weakness. Her intentions were never evil. How could they be? Hermione Granger evil? Bollocks! Things had just spiraled out of control faster than she could handle. There was so much at stake that she needed to do whatever possible to protect it. Good or bad. She got that taste in her mouth and wanted more. It was a sick gratifying feeling. The rush from doing something bad filled her with this moment of contentment. She hated every fiber of her being for feeling that way. She was low and disgusting. A filthy Mudblood. She now laughed at that term. It was so appropriate after everything she had done. Everyone she hurt. She did not deserve the right to possess magical talent. She had no right to call herself a witch. She was worthless.

There was absolutely nothing she could say to fix what she did. No possible way to regain trust from anyone. Not that she believed she deserved anything. Least of all forgiveness.

Bloody hell! She had reasons. Good bloody damn reasons at that! She didn't just fall into this crazy place in her life for nothing. She was trying to protect someone. She was fighting for them. Trying to save someone she cared deeply for. She was all he had. The only other person that knew what it meant for him to survive. For them to both survive. No one would understand that. She could explain it until she was blue in the face. In every possible way she could think of. Everyone would just think she had completely gone daft and probably lock her away. It was understandable. If this was the beginning of the school year and she was on the outside of this, she would think every part of this was some crazy nightmare someone dreamt up. But it wasn't, it was all so real and scarily so.

Unfortunately not only did she betray everyone who cared for her, she failed the one person that would have stood by her through anything. The only one that seemed to matter and he had been the only important part of her life for a while now. She couldn't save him. He was gone now. It broke her heart. Draco Malfoy was gone and it was all her fault.

She was to blame. Instead of wallowing, she had chosen to do whatever it took to make it right. She swore to herself that she would fight with every ounce of her being until she made it right. To fix what she had destroyed.

In the end it didn't go the way she had so hoped it would. Her plan took a turn for the worse and created this huge pile of lies that she had to constantly keep up with. She did all she could to protect everyone involved. Sometimes that meant keeping them in the dark. Hermione was building a huge house of cards, then the moment she slipped up, a gust of wind swept through and knocked it all down. She lost it all. Her friends. Her family. Draco. Her life. She lost all that mattered. Everything that made Hermione Granger so bloody brilliant. Nothing was going to bring it back.

So she had to go. Not just for the fact that she couldn't bear to look into the eyes of everyone she let down, but because she was now being hunted herself. The ones she once looked up to and followed were determined to bring justice upon her. Then on the other side were the Death Eaters, set on bringing her life even more pain. All they wanted was to deliver her to the Dark Lord and watch as he mutilated her. They wanted her to suffer. To watch the fallen member of the Golden Trio squirm at the hand of their Lord. The though made Hermione's stomach turn.

She had been hiding and dodging for longer than she could keep track of. She was desperate to survive. The obvious reason for running. She didn't have much left for her in life, but that was all she truly needed. The thought of life. Continuing to live on. Her Gryffindor spirit was still intact after going through this hell. It had dings and some bits of it were broken, but she still had that one strong piece of her old life.

She was going to fight until the end. She would never give up and surrender. If she did all of this would be for nothing. What happened to Draco would be for nothing. She would not stand for that. She couldn't let him down more than she already had. She was going to live for the both of them.


	2. Chapter 1 Getting Back To Where We Start

**Chapter One - Getting Back To Where We Started**

Hermione's summer had been one full of peace and relaxation. No need for worries or stress.

She was exhausted from everything that had occurred in the previous school year. The thought of summer vacation was like a dream. To be back home with her parents. To get away from the death and destruction that consumed her life whilst with Harry and Ron. It was what she needed.

Now don't get her wrong. She would and will always fight by the side of her two best mates. Hermione Granger was never a quitter. It was unacceptable. The thought of failing at something made her shiver with annoyance. To be honest a slight bit of anger would creep in along with those thoughts. She would think to herself that those feelings came from her secret "bad side" breaking through. So never would she ever consider abandoning her duties and responsibilities. Ever. It is just draining. Having to deal with all of the evil that surrounded the three of them day, after day. Fighting was getting old and she just needed some time to regain her strength. To clear her overwhelming thoughts about the events to come.

So the moment she arrived home she ran and buried her head into her father's chest as he brought her in for a welcoming embrace.

"Oh my Hermione. How we miss you around here. I'm so glad to have you home for the holiday." Her father planted a loving peck into the pile of curls on the top of her head.

"I've missed you both so much. I'm so relieved to be here. Nothing like home to bring you back to reality." She beamed a smile looking up to her dad. "Is mum home?" She said gazing over his shoulder into the parlor.

"She's in the kitchen preparing lunch." He nodded towards the kitchen doorway.

Hermione smiled and skipped into the kitchen.

Her mother was at the center island preparing sandwiches and tea. The smell in the air sent a warm chill throughout her body. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. She let out a quite sigh, then cleared her throat softly to make her presence known.

"My darling!" Hermione's mother dropped the pieces of bread she was working with and dashed to her daughter. She kissed Hermione's forehead and wrapped her arms tightly around her little girl. "It's so good to have you here. It feels more like home now." She was now cupping Hermione's cheeks. "Goodness child have you been eating? You look like a stick. Go sit in the sunroom with your father. I'll be out in a moment with lunch." Hermione was being hurried out the door now and her mother closed it behind her.

Hermione giggled to herself. It's as though she never left. That's was she loved about coming home. It was always going to be there. With the same white fence surrounding the oversized bushes, with the same two amazing parents she cherished and her room that was her safe hideaway. A place all of her own.

The rest of the summer consisted of lazy days filled with long walks through town. Museum visits and trips to the library nearly every week. Lunch in the sunroom, followed by a few hours of light reading. Then ending the days curled up by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate while her parents sat on the sofa and watched the late night news report.

She loved every simple moment of it. It was perfect.

_Hermione… Hermione? You in there?_

Hermione snapped out of her day dream. She was now remembering where she was, in the train compartment with Harry and Ron. Harry's hand was lightly placed on her shoulder and the two were staring at her with concern.

"You alright?" Ron said with his mouth full of candy and chocolates.

Hermione scrunched her nose at the sight, but in the end she let out a little giggle. She missed this while she was away. Having the two of them there for support and the more than occasional entertainment. Their relationship was like no other she had seen. They had grown up in a crazy world together. They experienced things that some adults couldn't imagine being faced with and all with one another. The Golden Trio. Being without them, well that was something Hermione didn't like to dwell on.

"Yes. I'm alright Ron." She smiled sheepishly at her redheaded friend. She looked at Harry who still had a look of worry in his eyes. "Honest." She pressed to him.

"Okay. But you looked like you were ten thousand miles away just now. Not like you to be so out of it, you know?" Harry was not convinced.

"I am fine Harry. Don't worry. I was just lost in thoughts about this school year. What classes I'm going to get and how much homework I get to do every night." A huge grin spread across her face.

Ron chuckled and a few crumbs from his half chewed cookies sprayed over Harry and Hermione.

"Jeeze Ron you think you can wait and finish chewing before you start your sentences? Save me the clean up?" Harry said sarcastically. Giving Ron a glare.

"Sorry mate. Didn't think about that." Ron said as he was gathering more food to stuff into his mouth.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry. They both broke out into hysterical laughter and Hermione's head fell onto Harry's shoulder.

"What? What's so funny?" Ron said concerned for his appearance at the moment. He brushed the back of his hand over his mouth to remove any smudges of food left behind. See Ron had recently becoming more aware of his looks when he was around Hermione. Last year his feelings for her had begun to grow significantly. Not seeing her over the summer only increased the amount of butterflies that filled his stomach the instant she arrived in the train cart. She was absolutely stunning in his eyes. He wanted nothing more in the world than her. She was his other half. The beautiful, smart and cunning Hermione Granger. Nothing would make him happier than to call her his.

Hermione leaned forward and grabbed a chocolate frog off of Ron's lap. The graze of her fingers on his thigh sent goose bumps all through his body. "Good old Ron. You never fail to make me smile." She gave him the cutest smile he had ever seen.

"I wouldn't dream of disappointing you." He nodded his head as he beamed a smile at her.

Harry rolled his eyes at that and allowed himself a silent chuckle. He has noticed Ron's constant attempts to win Hermione's attention. He felt bad at times because he knew Hermione never caught onto Ron's advances. He thought it was sweet. The two of them cared deeply for one another and neither of them knew, but Harry could see it all. He was happy for them, truly he was. He just wished they would get on with it already. That way Ron could be distracted enough not to realize that Ginny was now the girl on Harry's every waking thought.

Ginny had grown into a brave and strong young woman. She was the most beautiful woman Harry had ever come across. She was smart and feisty. Ginny was not shy about giving someone a piece of her mind. She was everything Harry wanted in a partner. Someone equal in spirit and trust. He was nervous to make a move for her. Ron was his best friend. One of the most important people in his life. He couldn't just hook up with Ginny and not consider Ron's feelings. That was just wrong and disrespectful. Harry just had to find the right way to go about things.

"Hiya!" Ginny was sliding open the door and beaming a stunning smile at Harry. Harry knew she felt the same way about him and also the same respect for Ron.

"Hey Gin." Ron said without enthusiasm as he slid over to make room for her to sit.

Ginny plopped down and gave Hermione a quick little wave. "I just heard the news. You must be excited Hermione. The new rule about 6th years being considered for Head Boy and Girl. You're definitely a shoe in. No one preforms better at school than you do."

"It's quite possible I will be chosen for the title this year. Many of the 7th years didn't return. Most went off to help prepare for the war. Or at least went into hiding." Hermione said so nonchalantly. She glanced back out the train window. She just wanted to get to Hogwarts. Once inside the walls she would feel safer and everything would settle back into a routine.

The train was making the final stretch into Hogwarts. The wheels were beginning to grind to a halt. Students were gathering their things and preparing to make their exit.

"_All furst yeers this way. Follow me. We're makin' our way to these here boats." _They could hear Hagrid out on the platform leading the 1st years on their first journey into the castle.

Hermione flashed back to this moment in her first year. Everything was so simple. Just the excitement of beginning classes and learning the world of magic. It was all so different then. Now there was impending doom lurking around every corner for her and her friends. They were fighting a war. Students. Children. Soldiers in a war.

When the four had made their way out to the platform. There was a somewhat controlled chaos unfolding around them. Students new and old were rushing around everywhere. The 6th and 7th years were lagging behind and taking their time getting to the carriages. Then the 1st years looked so intimidated by the older classman. They were hurrying to catch Hagrid and trying to keep their heads down.

A few feet away Draco Malfoy and crew were taunting and laughing at the lower classman. They were basically sizing up the new meat. Seeing who would be decent lackeys and who would do as their victims for the year. Crabbe and Goyle were making grunting noises at the younger children to startle them. Blaise would dish out an occasional shove followed by an evil glare. Putting them in their "place" assumedly. Then there was Draco. Not really participating in the act. He was just the puppeteer. Controlling the moves of all that obeyed him. Dangling off his arm was Pansy Parkinson. Giggling at the torture her fellow Slytherin's were handing out. Giving Draco puppy eyes and rubbing up against him. Even though over the summer rumor had it that she had a little fling with Blaise Zabini. The always true "Slytherin Slut".

"They seem to mature every year." Harry said disgusted by their rude display. "Why do they feel it's necessary to act like baboons?"

Ginny chuckled at that. "They can only act as they've been taught." She gave Harry a wink.

He laughed and nudged her with his elbow. They moved forward together, leaving Hermione to walk with Ron.

"I can't wait for the feast. I bet there's gonna be loads of food." Ron sighed with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Honestly Ronald… is there a moment food isn't on your mind?" She said with a giggle behind her words.

He smiled. He wanted to say "Only when you're on my mind Hermione." But it wasn't an appropriate time for that. So instead he said "Of course. I do have a brain that goes with these good looks." He tried to play it off a cool as he could.

She rolled her eyes at him and snaked her arm around his elbow. She sighed and rested her head on his arm as they made their way to the carriages. She glanced around looking at the falling leaves and all the students scurrying by. She was so excited to be back. She really missed being here. She needed the break, but it was time to get back to where she supposed to be.

Ron and Hermione made their way into the carriage where Ginny and Harry were. Shortly Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood joined them. With the six of them settled in their carriage began to move and took towards the castle.

It took about twenty minutes for them to climb the mountain. They arrived outside the main door and made way up the large staircase to enter through the large iron doors. There was a steady flow of students entering the Great Hall.

Excitement was growing in Hermione's gut. She couldn't wait for it all to start. She was ready for whatever came this year. As long as she had her friends, nothing could stop her.

"Move, you filthy little Mudblood. Don't cross my path again." Draco gave Hermione a rough shove and moved past her.

"Open your eyes you bloody ferrert!" Ron stepped forward and shoved Draco from behind.

Draco turned around and busted out with laughter at the person before him. "You honestly think I find you threatening Weasley? You redheaded clown. There is nothing intimidating about you." He was now laughing harder.

Ron was turning a deep shade of red. He didn't have a return response for Malfoy. Ron just sort of stuttered for a moment from nerves and then just decided to keep quiet until Malfoy retreated.

"Nothing? Huh. Weaker than I thought you were Weaslebee." Draco shrugged his shoulders and turned back to heading into the dining hall.

"What an infuriating git." Ron let out what sounded like a growl. Then charged his way into the hall.

"Here we go." Harry said amused and draped his arms over Hermione and Ginny's shoulders to guide them in. "The start to another year."

Neville and Luna followed close behind. "Do you think they removed the Wrackspurts by now? I heard they were having a bit of trouble keeping them out this summer." Luna was gazing around with her usual spaced out stare.

Neville looked over to her with a look of confusion. "You know Luna, I hardly know what you're on about half the time." He let out a nervous laugh when she looked over to smile at him.

"That's why we love her." Hermione said with a smile while grabbing Luna's hand and running to catch up with Ginny.

The six of them joined the rest of their class at the Gryffindor table and waited for the always interesting "Beginning of the Year Speech."

[_Tap, tap, tap._]

Dumbledore tapped his wand on the podium at the front of the hall. Clearing his throat he began to address the room.

"Welcome. Welcome everyone. This is a wonderful sight. I'm glad to see that we still have students willing to learn and to stay away from the dangers that are growing outside our walls. It's sad to say that it's become a growing concern of mine that a lot of you will eventually have to choose to fight or to stand aside in this war. You will have to make decisions, hard ones that you should never have to be burdened with in the first place. It's horrible luck that you all have to grow up in these times. I wish better for all of you and would give it to you all if I had the power. Unfortunately the war in inevitable. There is no use in coating it in sugar for you. The reality is that things are going to get worse. You will lose close friends and watch strangers fall around you. You must remember to remain strong throughout this. Keep the ones you love close. Stay true to your beliefs and you will be stronger in the end." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Moving out from behind the podium he looked around at all of the young children.

His heart grew heavy with worry. He knew in his heart that most of them would be hurt… or worse… in this war. He was looking into the small eyes of all his students. Most were full of fear. Terror. He had to lift the spirits. There was a long road in front of them and to dwell on the negative would be a waste of time. So to keep chins up and thoughts off troubling events, he changed subject back to school dealings. "I apologize to you all. Now is not the time to dwell on these matters. Just keep in mind that I along with the rest of the staff are willing to listen if you have any worries or concerns. You do not have to be alone in this." He flattened the front of his dress robes and continued.

"Now most of you know the school rules, so we will have a separate discussion with the 1st years later on this evening. Though most things are the same, we do have some small changes to discuss. Tomorrow you will notice that there will be a rise in security around the school. The Ministry has sent some Aurors to assist in the protection of you the students and the school itself. They will be the main enforcers of curfew and good behavior…"

"If they are the "main enforcers" what happens to the Heads and the Prefects? I was so sure I could have been Head Girl." Hermione's whisper was full of aggravation. "How could they do this? It's unfair to take that away from the students. This is ridic-"

"Bloody hell Hermione. Keep it down. I'm sure Dumbledore will explain it. You just need to keep quiet long enough to hear him." Ron said as quietly as he could whisper.

"Be quiet the both of you." Ginny said glaring at her older brother.

Ron responded with a mocking face that made Hermione giggle slightly.

"Now I know some of you are wondering about the students' rolls as Head Boy and Girl, as well as the Prefects. Though we have the Aurors here, we are also still going to appoint those rolls. The chosen students will work with the Aurors to patrol the school. There will be scheduled rounds for the pairs of students that will be assigned at your first meeting." He paused and nodded to Professor McGonagall.

"Now about the rules you will be required to enforce." He held out his hand to grab McGonagall's and guided her to the podium. "Professor McGonagall will now take over to address these rulings and at the end she will announce the newly appointed Head Boy and Girl. Professor?" He smiled and bowed his head to her as he retreated to his seat.

"Thank you Headmaster. Hello everyone and welcome to a new year here at Hogwarts. I am excited to begin this year with all of you. I expect nothing but great things from you all. I cannot wait to see the amazing wizards and witches you lot grow up to be." She smile a reassuring smile to the crowd and continued her part of the speech.

"Now the new rules, they have been set to ensure you safety throughout this year. Now some of them you might find tedious, but I assure you they are in your best interests to follow. Firstly, when attending classes you will be guided by your house Prefects. This is only required for First through Fourth Years. Second, you are only allowed outside of your dormitories in the morning starting at six until you arrive to classes, then after classes you are allowed to stay out until dinner. Immediately after dinner you will be expected to return back to your rooms. Upon your arrival at the end of the night you will be required to sign your name in the log book that will be located inside the entrance of your dorm. It will automatically record the time you arrived back. So do not be late. Any student caught outside of your rooms after curfew or found to have signed in late three times, will be dealt with accordingly. Lastly the use of magic shall be allowed only if being used for learning purposes. In class, studying or practicing. The only loop hole in this rule is if you were using magic for defensive purposes. If it is discovered that you have used magic other than for schooling, the matter will be seriously looked into and a punishment will be given as a result of the investigation."

The students began to mummer amongst themselves. They were shocked at this new rule. Yes it had always been assumed that magic was only used for learning, but no one was ever punished for using it for fun. Things were stricter than first thought. It was all worse than what anyone thought. To limit the use of magic? The only reason to do this could only be because they thought that some of the students would be dangerous. That sent the students nerves on edge. Who was trust worthy? How can they feel safe with this unknown? Their mummers were turning into a combined roar. They nerves were growing stronger.

"_Which students are dangerous? Should we keep an eye on the Slytherins?"_ An unknown student shouted from the back.

This caused the room to get very loud and it started to get out of control. Students were shouting nasty things at the Slytherin table and they were shouting defensives in return.

"QUIET!" Dumbledore was now standing tall at the front of the room. He looked calm despite the anger that was growing inside him. The room grew into a cold silence. Students returned to their seats and gave the Headmaster their attention.

"We do not need to turn against each other. Every student is here to learn and they have every right to do so. Regardless of house, respect MUST be given. I will not tolerate any attacks, verbal or physical, on any student. No one here is a threat and should not be treated as such. Now…" He turned his attention to Professor McGonagall. "Perhaps we should just skip ahead to appointing the Head Students."

McGonagall nodded in agreement.

"Alright children." She regained her composure at the podium. "As some of you are aware we have made a little change to who is eligible to become Head Boy or Girl. Since there is a significant amount of 7th years missing, we have decided to base this choice on which two students have the best overall academic achievement since their first year here at Hogwarts." With a sigh she put a smile on and continued with her announcement.

"These students are two of the brightest students I have come across in my years teaching here. They come from two completely different ends of the spectrum. Yet they are equal in intelligence and strength. Both are extremely skilled in the magical arts as well at the studies and theories behind it all." A flicker of nervousness shot through McGonagall's eyes, but she shut them down quickly.

With no more delays, it was time to announce the names of the two Heads. "Hermione Granger! Congratulations Ms. Granger. You are now this year's Head Girl. Please come up and join me to my left." McGonagall pointed her hand to the left of her.

Hermione was positively beaming with joy. When the Professor had spoken her name she grabbed Ron by the neck and squeezed him in for a congratulatory embrace. Then she looked over to Ginny and squealed. Harry patted her hand and nodded towards the front. Quickly Hermione shot up and made her way to stand by the side of her mentor.

"Thank you Professor." Hermione whispered when she took her spot.

Professor McGonagall winked and pinned the Head Girl pin onto Hermione's robes.

Returning to the podium, McGonagall was growing more edgy. The announcement of Head Boy was going to cause some serious troubles. It was nothing to look forward to. She had to do it though, he had earned it.

"I am pleased to announce that your new Head Boy is, Draco Malfoy. Congratulations Mr. Malfoy. You have worked hard for this title. Please join me by my right."

There were no congratulations given at the Slytherin table. No hugs or cheers. Draco stood with complete poise. He had earned this. This was his moment. He was proud. To let the fact he was sharing it with the Mudblood spoil it would be daft. She was a waste of thought. Unfortunately he could not deny that she did deserve this title. It made his insides turn to admit this even to himself. She was his only competition in class. No one else seemed to contain the mental stamina to keep up with him. Though he would never say it out loud… he had always assumed he would share this position with her one day.

Hermione on the other hand had lost her smile and was now standing at the front of the hall with shock slapped across her face. What a perfect way to ruin her moment of glory. The ferret was now going to be involved in almost every aspect of her school year. The Heads are supposed to work closely together to maintain peace between all of the Houses. They were supposed to be a team. This is insane. Working peacefully with him? How ridiculous.

Draco had now taken his place on the other side of Professor McGonagall and was receiving his badge.

Anger flushed over Hermione's face and she was practically shaking. How could this be? Draco Malfoy? He was a downright foul git. However he is probably one of the smartest boys their grade had. Oh bloody hell he was the smartest boy in their grade. She couldn't deny it. He unfortunately deserved it just as much as she did. She couldn't rightfully take that away from him by causing a scene. She would be devastated if that were to happen to her. No, she would act civilized about this. She was an adult, a lady, she would carry herself as one. She held her chin out and regained her confidence. This was her time in the spotlight. Her moment at the Head of the class.

"It is my pleasure to introduce to you Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy as your new Head Girl and Boy. Please treat them with the upmost respect. They are here to help you all through the school year. Please keep in mind that they took this title to help better this school. Show them appreciation." She nodded at both of them. "You both may return to your seats. Thank you."

Without hesitation Hermoine scampered back to her seat. Nerves were filling her quickly. The thought of rooming with Malfoy, working with him, it put her a little on edge.

Draco casually strolled back to his place at the center of the Slytherin table.

Draco had always been the definition of wealth and superiority. He kept that idea alive in everything he did. He chose his acquaintances based on their position in the Pureblood line. He had chosen Pansy Parkinson as his trophy piece because she was the prettiest and most awful girl in the Slytherin house. Everything he did had a purpose. It was to keep him at the top of his house. To make him the apple of his father's eye. To put Draco at the front of the line to become the next generation of Death Eaters.

Over the summer Draco spent most of his time studying the Dark Arts. Days full of magical training. Reading hour after hour on how to fight viciously and tactfully on the battlefield. Trying to be the best he could be at everything he was asked to do. He was aching for the day when he would receive his Dark Mark. That would be the day he put some respect back behind the Malfoy name. Ever since his father had failed the Dark Lord their status had taken a blow. There were snickers and whispers about how disgraceful they were to the Dark Side. Draco was determined to put fear back in people's hearts when they heard the name Malfoy. He had to make his father proud. That was all he could think of half the time.

His summer wasn't all dark and dreary though. Despite what many think about Draco, he enjoys the small things in life. After his father had been ripped away from him last year he began to respect those little things even more. He took notice to every tiny moment. Like when every morning approached the sun would warm his face before he fully woke. When his mother would laugh (which was a rarity all on its own these days) the corners of her mouth would crease a little bit, showing her age. Every moment was something he cherished. All the simple things in life were going to be torn away as soon as the war began. Days were going to get darker, people crueler. He had grown up believing that was the way things were supposed to be. He believed it, he had to.

It's just… there was something eating at him deep in his gut. Something that he was constantly fighting to keep hidden. The feeling that this was all wrong. That the world was never meant to be divided by evil. That everyone in their own right should be allowed to live as they saw fit. That everyone had rights whether he thought so or not. It was strange but these thoughts had grown louder since he began getting closer to the darkness.

That was wrong though. This was not what he was taught to believe. He had to resist these thoughts. They were just weaknesses. Moments where he lacked the strength he needed to possess to survive this coming battle. He was strong enough to fight them off. He was going to do as he was told. He would follow orders and redeem his family. He really had no other options. He had been chosen.

So the burden of being paired up with the Mudblood was low on his list of concerns. She was nothing he couldn't handle. He knew how to rile her up. He could use his skills he's developed to easily make her life Hell. A small entertainment he could use when he saw fit. Anyway there were more pressing matters to deal with. His time would not be wasted on her.

"Let the first feast of the year commence." Dumbledore rose from his seat and clapped his hands. Pushing his palms out the tables began to fill with a beautiful display. Food piled on food. A beautiful dream for some like Ronald Weasley or even Crabbe and Goyle. Students filled their bellies until they could hardly move.

Since everyone seemed to be finished dining Professor McGonagall took to the podium again to dismiss the room.

"If you would, follow your Head Teachers to your House common rooms please. You will now settle in for the night. First years please stay back for a moment so that Headmaster can go over a few more details regarding the rules you are unaware of. Also will Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy please meet me outside the hall?" Professor McGonagall stepped down and made her way to the exit.

"How can they do this to you? You won't be able to last rooming with him. A day maybe. This is crazy. I can't believe you have to live with that slimy, low, loathsome, evi-" Ron's ranting was abruptly cut off.

"Honestly Ronald. I am aware of Draco Malfoy's obvious flaws thank you. I don't need reminding. But he is Head Boy now and regrettably he does deserve it. Now don't forget I am also pretty bright Ron. I can handle myself." Hermione said with annoyance. How dare Ron assume she can't live with someone? She can handle herself. She's proven that time and time again. It just irked her the wrong way.

"Well I'm proud of you Hermione. You'll do great. You'll make us all proud." Ginny wrapped her arm around Hermione's shoulder and gave her a light squeeze. "Have a good night alright. We'll see you tomorrow." Ginny glanced at Harry and he quickly caught up to walk back to the Gryffindor common room.

Ron followed gloomily behind and glanced over his shoulder at Hermione. Hermione waved with a half-smile. This was probably the worst part. Yes, even worse than her pairing with Malfoy. She wasn't able to spend nights with her friends. With the new rule about signing in she would have to return to her dormitory every night. She was sure it would get very lonely.

"Awww. What's the matter Granger? You look like a lost puppy with no one to guide her home." A sneering voice crept up from behind her.

"Shove it Malfoy. Just because we are required to spend time together doesn't mean I plan on dealing with you unless absolutely necessary." Hermione voice had a great deal of distain as it came out.

"Splendid. I don't find conversing with you to be on my to-do list. I'd rather we not speak unless needed." Draco moved to lean up against the wall.

"Isn't that what I just said?" She looked at him with question.

Draco went to make a witty retort but was interrupted by the arrival of Professor McGonagall.

"Are you both ready to see your new dormitory?" McGonagall tried to say with enthusiasm even though she could feel the growing tension.

They two young students nodded in agreement and followed the Professor to their dorm.

It was a good long walk before they arrived at the portrait hole. There was a lot of twisting and turning down hallways. Now they stood outside the door. It was a picture of two knights. They had their swords drawn to each other, but in their other hands they held white flags.

Hermione thought it meant that even though two people might not get along and possibly battled quite often, they would be able to make a truce to living peacefully together. She wasn't too sure, but she was far too exhausted to try to figure it out any further.

"You password is "Fellowship". I would appreciate it if you kept the amount of people you tell this password to, to a minimum. Now you both should get some rest. Within the next few days we will all meet and discuss the course of action we will take for this year. Sleep well the both of you." The Professor excused herself and disappeared down the corridor.

Without hesitation Hermione uttered the password and made her way through the doorway.

Draco rolled his eyes and entered right behind her. She always had to be first.

After they both had signed into the log book they took their first glances at their new living quarters.

It wasn't a grand room like either of them were used to. Though it should make sense since it would only be the two of them occupying the dormitory. There was a small sitting area with a sofa and two cozy looking chairs that were positioned in front of the fire place. Two bookshelves framed the fire place. On the right as you entered the room there was a large door that was decorated with the Slytherin crest. On the left equal in size was another door with the Gryffindor symbol etched onto it. On the back wall beneath a large window, that led to a balcony, was a small kitchen with a breakfast nook. Also there was a smaller door to the left that was presumably the bathroom.

Draco was in no mood to look over the room with Hermione there. He felt as though that could be considered bonding. There was no way he would subject himself to such torture. So he pushed past Hermione and entered his room with a slam of the door.

Hermione rolled her eyes at that. "Always the insufferable git." She moved to the window and stepped out onto the balcony. The cool air blew her curls wildly about her face. The sky was clear of clouds. All you could see were the bright stars that surrounded the moon. Hermione felt chills crawl up her spine. It was breathtaking. She hadn't seen such a beautiful sight in quite a while. She was happy, so very happy despite the situation. She would figure out a way for all of this craziness to make sense. But for now she would retire to bed.

She arrived into her room and a smile grew across her face at the sight. It was gorgeous. Decorated with simplicity. Colored in gold and maroon. It was wonderful. She couldn't wait to put her own touches into the room. Pictures of her family and friends would be scattered amongst the surfaces. She would stuff her bookshelf full of literature from both the Muggle world and the Magical world.

The sight of a giant four post bed directly across from her door caught her attention. She didn't remember walking over to it, but was suddenly plopping onto the pillows. The moment her eyes closed she drifted into her dreams. She was so tired after everything that had occurred today. She needed rest to be alert tomorrow.

On the other side of the dormitory Draco had not prepared for bed just yet. He was writing a letter to his father to inform him that he had been given the honor of becoming Head Boy. He always needed his father's approval. He never quite understood why. Lucius Malfoy was never one to show that he was proud. He never really showed any emotion towards Draco. At least never positive, plenty of negative, but nothing positive. Draco would always try though. Without fail.

_Dear Father,_

_I am pleased to tell you that I have been giving the opportunity to be Head Boy this year. I was chosen because of my academic greatness. I know you will be pleased to hear this news. The only downfall of this position is that it must be shared with Potter's Mudblood friend. I don't think she'll be much of an issue, but I thought it best to keep you aware of the situation._

_-Draco_

He went to his window where an owl was already waiting for him. He attached the letter to the beast's claw and shoved it off the window sill. He watched as it disappeared into the night sky. He then closed the window and jumped into bed. He looked up at the ceiling and tried to clear his thoughts. Once he felt the smallest bit of relaxation he closed his eyes. It took him less than a minute to fall into a deep sleep. He was exhausted. Tomorrow would be full of annoyances, that he was sure of, but for now all he needed to pay attention to was his pillow.

All was quiet in the Head dormitory. For the moment at least. The events to come would challenge these two more than they could ever imagine. They would have to find a way to survive this year, together.


	3. Chapter 2 Two Lives Intertwine

**Chapter Two – Two Lives Intertwine**

[_Chirp, Chirp, Chirp_]

"Bloody hell! What is that?" Draco lifted his face off of his pillow and glanced toward the singular window to the side of his bed.

Raising himself up slightly with his elbows. He peered over the window sill. To the right of the window was a small nest with four small baby birds inside. They were chirping with excitement, but Draco couldn't see what they were looking at. Suddenly the mother flew in and landed on the edge of the nest. At this point Draco was sitting up on his mattress. He was lost in this natural occurrence. Again the small details in life always amazed him. The mother bird began to feed the babies and positioned herself into the side of the nest while one of the babies nuzzled up against her.

Draco wished he could have that relationship with his mother still. Don't get him wrong. She was always loving and attentive to him. Since he was born she had been the only real source of love he had received. Just now that he was older it came in words more than actions. He would just love one more time to be able to curl up next to his mother and have her comfort him. He knew that was silly though, he was to become a Death Eater. He couldn't have his mother babying him anymore. He needed to be stronger. These ridiculous moments of weakness were unacceptable.

"Grow up you stupid git." He whispered to himself.

Draco was shocked to see that the mother bird turned to address his watchful eye. She gazed back at him and Draco could have sworn she nodded slightly. That was foolish though. It was just his sleepiness affecting his mind.

Draco pulled himself out of bed to get ready. He had classes all day that was going to be followed by the meeting with Professor McGonagall, Hermione and the Aurors. It was going to be long and probably full of headaches and aggravation. What had he signed up for?

He grabbed his clothes and headed towards the bathroom. He wanted to get in there before the she did. The thought of sharing the same washroom as the Mudblood made his stomach turn. Who knows what he could catch. She was probably covered in filth and all kinds of diseases. He didn't want to chance it.

When he entered the common area he was taken off guard by her presence.

Hermione was already dressed and ready for the day. She was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book while sipping on some tea. She didn't even react as Draco stepped into the room.

Draco was slightly irritated. He always managed to turn heads as he entered a room. He didn't even get a raise of the eye from her. Nothing. No reaction whatsoever. Clearly she has no taste. Look at who she spends her days with though. Not an attractive bunch. Anyways he didn't need her attention. He could get it from any girl he wanted and she was nothing he wanted. So it didn't matter. Right? Of course it didn't. She didn't matter to him.

"Did you dirty the bathroom with your filth? You could have been polite and let your superiors wash first. Now I'm going to have to get myself checked for diseases." He said with the most arrogant of tones.

Finally Hermione looked up to acknowledge him. A look of pure hatred was plastered across her face. "How dare you! I have done nothing to deserve that!"

"You don't need to do anything your presence is rude enough. You should be a little more considerate of my feelin-"

"You listen to me _Malfoy_." She had a furious look in her eyes.

Draco couldn't remember seeing her this angry before. Not even when she hit him in third year. The space between her eyebrows was all wrinkled and strained. Her hair fell in front of her eyes as her head bobbled slightly when she spoke. What was he doing? Examining Granger like she was worth the time.

Her voice cut into his thoughts and Hermione continued her ranting. "This is my room too. Now you can either deal with it or not. But I will not stand for your constant harassment and bullying. I have every right to do what I want when I want. I do not need to consider you when I do it either. It is no concern of mine. If we want these roles then we must live together. I for one don't plan on letting you ruin this experience for me. So grow and get over your childish games. Now if you'll excuse me I have a meeting to attend." She was fuming. She almost knocked her chair over when she stood up to leave. Grabbing her book bag she stormed out of the portrait hole.

Draco was stunned. Positively stunned. She had just torn him a new one. Normally it would take a few jabs to get her that upset, but this time it was like she was waiting for him to take that step. Like she had prepared for that all morning. But how dare she call him a child? Grow up?

"Filthy bitch! How dare she talk to me that way? She'll regret that one." He said to himself with a chuckle.

She was foolish to believe he would actually heed her words and leave her be. He had barely started the fun. Draco couldn't wait to dig at her deeper. With that he took to the bathroom to finish preparing for the day.

Hermione was charging through the halls and dodging innocent bystanders as she made way towards the library. She could not believe what had just occurred. She had done nothing but sip her tea and read her book. He had no right to attack her like he did. Talking to her as if she was some diseased rat. What gave him the right to belittle her? She just wanted to be able to feel comfortable where she lived. Even if that meant not speaking to each other. That would make it bearable. Instead of random attacks for stupid made up things.

Suddenly she stopped in her tracks and took a seat on a nearby windowsill. She was so foolish. She had reacted to one of Draco Malfoy's childish attacks. She should have had better control over her emotions. She shouldn't have given him the pleasure of reacting.

She was upset about other things and that just set her off.

"Hey Hermione!" She froze at the sound of Ron's voice. The last person she wanted to see right now.

She glanced up to see him walking towards her with Lavender Brown attached to his arm.

Ron had joined the Quidditch team at tryouts on the second day of school and with that came new popularity. Not much but still more attention than he would normally receive. As well as a girlfriend. The loud, obnoxious and clingy Lavender Brown.

It broke Hermione's heart. She knew she never made a move for him, but still she thought something was there between them. She had always imagined one day being Ron's girlfriend. She couldn't picture being with anyone else. She could have sworn he felt the same. Now all she could do is sit and watch as he was fondled by her. It was nauseating and Hermione preferred not to expose herself to it. It was just so terribly hard to avoid someone who's been a part of your life for the last six years, especially when it wasn't him she truly wanted to avoid. Who also shares every friend you have. Most of the time she was playing with a fake smile and an even faker attitude. Today she didn't feel like pretending though. Not at the moment.

"Hello Ronald." She said blandly while glancing towards Lavender and gave a slight nod just to acknowledge her presence. "How are you two today?" Pretend Hermione, play nice.

"Oh we are just super great. Aren't we Ron Ron? We're going to go spend the day in Hogsmeade. Sort of a romantic trip on the town. My Ronnie is just so wonderful to me. Such the romantic." Laveneder was practically swimming in him. Her nose was so far up his ass Hermione couldn't figure out how the twit was still breathing.

"Super." Hermione mocked Lavender's tone. "Have fun." She got up and left without a goodbye. It was extremely irritating to be around Ron while he was with Lavender. She missed her relationship with him. But she had to come to terms that things had changed. It might never go back to the way it was.

She had to put distance between herself and Ron. Otherwise she would just be hurting herself. But putting space there meant putting space between her and the rest of the group. This year was going to be lonelier than she thought.

She arrived at the library and Professor McGonagall and the House Prefects were already there waiting to begin. She was annoyed that she arrived after everyone. She thought it would be perceived as unprofessional. At least she beat Malfoy.

Draco was approaching the library entrance when he spotted Granger walking in.

"Perfect." He muttered while he grinned evilly to himself.

He hurried to catch up just enough so he could bump her and make her drop her belongings.

Hermione felt a forceful shove from behind and jolted forward. Her books fell from her hand and scattered in front of her. She was barely able to keep balance. Turning around she wasn't surprised when she saw who had caused the tumble.

"Excuse you!" She said with a scowl.

"No, excuse you. You shouldn't block the entrance and expect not to get knocked over." He passed her with a taunting wink.

"Oh you insufferable git!" She said a little too loudly. The rest of the library now had their eyes on her and Draco. Her cheeks filled with blush.

Draco was also looking at her. Not really aware of the rest of the eyes on them. He was lost in how easily she turned that shade. It brought a different look to her features. He was caught off guard at this sight and was unable to come up with a witty retort.

"Are you two ready to join us?" Seamus was standing up at the table with the rest of the group. "We're all ready to begin. But if you need a moment we can wait."

Hermione thought he was being unusually rude, but understood that she and Draco were holding up the day. "Of course, sorry. I'm ready."

As she approached the table Seamus pulled out the seat next to him for her. She thought it strange, but wasn't going to question it. He was being a gentleman. Unlike some of the boys she has been encountering as of late.

"Thank you Seamus." She gave him a genuine smile.

"Anytime Hermione." He returned the smile while he tucked her chair behind her.

Draco was disgusted by the sight. That Finnigan bloke was obviously moving on Granger. It was nauseating. The last thing he wanted to see was two Mudbloods ogling each other. It was far more unpleasant than anything he has witnessed before. Unfortunately the only open seat was on the opposite side of the table from them. Annoyed, he sat down and prayed that this would go as quickly as possible.

"Alright students. Let's get the scheduled laid out." McGonagall began the meeting.

They set the plan for the upcoming year. Created a layout of who was going to patrol which nights. Then at the end they were paired up. Two pairs would patrol two opposite sides of the castle after the students return to their dorms. Then after they complete their patrol they too shall return to their dorms and the Aurors with proceed with watching over everyone.

Draco was grouped with Daphne Greengrass. She was a Pureblood Slytherin so he wasn't turned off by her, at all in fact. She was just one of those girls that you don't really converse with. She was more of a girl of action. Which was alright with Draco. He was of course a male. He had needs that must be met. If she was willing, so be it. He knew what was said about him having relations with Pansy Parkinson, but that never really could stop him from dipping into the female pool. It wouldn't start now. Greengrass was somewhat attractive, but that really wasn't pressing as long as he got was he desired. It's not as though he planned on marrying the twit. Just exploiting her girlish tendencies. So her appearance wasn't of much concern. She would do just fine for now.

Seamus of course jumped at the chance to be paired with Hermione. He practically shouted when her name was thrown out for grabs. Hermione giggled when he did that. She was smitten. She had never received such direct attention before from a boy and all in just one sitting. She didn't really know how to react when it happened. Her cheeks flushed bright red. She was happy to accept Seamus as a partner. She hadn't really gotten to know him throughout their school years. They've hung out with the same group and were friends. Just they never really took the time to really know each other. Hermione was interested in what he had to offer. Who knows, maybe he would turn out to be someone she could consider starting a relationship with. He was always nice to her and as far as she could see he was bright at school, which is a big plus in her book. So she would give it a go and see what would transpire.

After the meeting the students departed to the respective classes.

Hermione stayed behind. She had a few spare moments before Defense Against the Dark Arts and she wanted to take a walk through the aisles of texts. She loved the smell of the parchment inside the old novels. So much history to relive. So many stories to discover. She felt safe in those moments. She would get lost in the pages of the stories and forget the troubles surrounding her just outside her mind. She knew it was silly to feel that way. She felt like it was wasteful of her time to do such things. Like the pages of a book can shield you from a war. It was absurd. Childish. She just wanted to… she had to hold on to that innocence. Just for a little while longer. If she stopped falling into that dream, all troubles she has been trying to put off will come crashing in on her.

She wasn't sure she could handle it in her current state. She couldn't do it alone. She wasn't technically alone. Her friendships were being strained and her current living situation wasn't helping her sanity. Without some stability she knew she could easily break. Without Harry and Ron… without what their friendship had been, she was afraid something terrible would happen. She wished they were as strong as they used to be. They've just been through so much pain. So much loss. They were all still grieving and building themselves back up. Unfortunately without one another. Harry had Ginny. Ron had Lavender. They weren't alone. She was. Hermione didn't have someone to see at the end of the day. Someone to lean on. Harry claims he's there, but he's distracted all on his own. Ron would be if it weren't for Lavender and her trying to constantly one-up Hermione. So she had to do it on her own. Hopefully everything could work itself out soon. Hopefully.

She left the library probably the first time without a new book and headed for class.

Draco was in the back of his class. He picked the table where no one else was sitting, because frankly he wasn't in the mood to socialize. He just wanted to focus on his studies then get back to his dorm.

His headache had increased after the meeting. Daphne Greengrass had insisted that Draco walk her to her class in order for them to "get to know each other". He really had no intention of knowing her. He just wanted things from her. Things only a female can provide. But as it played out he ended up walking with her as she babbled on about her summer holiday and how it was probably best if he met her outside the Slytherin dorms when they had patrol. She said a lot of other things that were unnecessary in his life.

So he spent most of the walk looking around at the portraits and the students passing by. He thought about the birds outside his window this morning and how annoying Granger had been when he walked into the main room. Then his thoughts traveled to when they were about to argue in the library, but how she caught him off guard with her flushed cheeks.

He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. Granger was not worth the effort of thought. She was an insignificant factor in his life and there was no need to let in seep into all aspects. Damn him and his knack for noticing small details about his surroundings. He shouldn't have paid such close attention to her. Why did he?

Again she is not worth it. He needed to stop dwelling on this. It was adding to the pain in his head.

After he dropped Greengrass off at her class, he rushed to attend his. He arrived after almost everyone else had, which he prefers. It allows him to steer clear of any annoying classmates. So there he was, alone, in the back with his notes. Perfect.

[_Plop_]

A large bag and a pile of books slammed down on the table beside him.

"Excuse me I picked this seat for quiet so I can focus on the cla-" Draco looked up and saw Hermione standing there with the same annoyed expression that was most likely spread over his features.

"Oh bloody hell. Don't you have a Potty or a Weasel to sit with? Leave me be." Draco flicked his hand as though to brush her away from his presence.

"Well if you haven't noticed there are no other seats available. So you'll just have to man up and deal with me for one bloody class. I assume you know how to be a grown man. On second thought, I have yet to have seen proof of that. Nevermind. So foolish of me." Hermione gave an evil little grin. Or at least as ever as Hermione Granger could produce.

"Don't you dare speak to me in such a manner! I am your superior. You should treat me with more respect than that. You could get into trouble little girl. I'll forget it this time, but watch yourself in the future." He returned his attention to his book.

"My superior? That's a laugh. Nothing about you is superior. Get of your pedestal Malfoy and join us back here in reality. You aren't any better than any of us. The more you talk that way the more you sound like a pompous ass. That isn't very charming." She also diverted her attention to her textbook. She wasn't going to let him shake her this time. She wouldn't blow up. She would defend herself, but she would not get out of hand.

"Granger! I didn't know you could produce such language. I'm in shock. I doubt they would've dubbed you Head Girl if they knew the mouth you had. It's filthy." He again gave her a wink with and cheesy smirk.

It set her teeth on edge.

"Pay attention class." Snape was now at the front of the classroom displaying his oh so dramatic glance. "I will not have any nonsense in this class. You are all old enough to act as adults. So do so." He walked to the projector, but before he began teaching he had a few more things to discuss. "Tardiness will not be allowed. If you are late then you won't attend. Also, the seats you are currently occupying are yours for the rest of term. I will not listen to complaints either. Now, turn to the first chapter in your books." He hit the projector with his wand and the first slide came up.

Draco couldn't focus on Snape or the class. It wasn't bad enough that he had to live with Granger, but now he had to spend one of his favorite classes next to the Mudblood. This was getting a bit out of hand. What else could possible go wrong? It's only the first week of school.

Hermione was just as upset. He had already been rude and she hadn't even said a word. How is she supposed to focus on this class if she has to be on guard for random attacks from him? Unbelievable.

When class had ended Draco leapt up and headed towards the Great Hall for dinner. He had originally intended on going back to his dorm, but the idea of possibly running into Granger wasn't really drawing him in. So he decided to meet up with his Slytherin pack and have a few laughs at the expense of others.

When he arrived at the table both Pansy and Greengrass had a seat saved beside them. Draco knew that it would be a rookie move to sit next to anyone other than Pansy. If she were to become upset with him she would undoubtedly run to her mummy. Then his mother would receive wind of it. He would get an ear full from her about how you shouldn't treat women as objects and they aren't there for fun. Things he was well aware of in fact. He knew eventually he would have to grow out of this stage and settle down with a nice girl who he would treat with respect. For now though he was young and just enjoying the pleasures in life. Some might think that to be selfish and coldhearted, but Draco thought it normal for a young man. Again there were needs that had to be met.

So he sat beside Pansy Parkinson and kissed her cheek. Pansy giggled and hid her head in Draco's shoulder. As she did that Draco sent Greengrass a quick wink, which seemed to satisfy her enough to make her smile. So at the moment all was well.

"How's rooming with the Mudblood Draco? Sent any curses her way?" Blaise was laughing, at Draco's expense of course.

Blaise has been Draco's closest friend since they were little wizards causing mischief in the Malfoy Manor. Draco knew Blaise was just messing around with him. Honestly he would do the same if Blaise had been roomed with Granger or any other Mudblood for that matter. So he took it like a true Slytherin.

"No not yet Zabini. I'm planning on breaking that filthy creature. She needs to learn her place and remember it. She acts as though she's our equal. I feel obligated to remind her otherwise." He smiled and shoved some food into his mouth.

"Ah I see. Interesting. Well if you need a hand causing some mayhem, you know where I'll be." Blaise rose from his seat and gave a farewell nod.

"Hold up Blaise we'll walk back with you." Pansy shouted as she finished her juice. She got up and was immediately followed by Theo Nott. Draco's other closest friend.

"See you later mate." Theo gave Draco a friendly slap on the shoulder. "Maybe when you're done doing your dastardly deeds."

The three took off out the main door of the hall.

He left after he finished his meal and headed back for his dormitory.

Hermione and the rest of her Gryffindor buddies were still seated at their table.

Harry and Ginny were discussing their day quietly with each other. As always. Lavender was telling one of her absurdly inappropriate stories about her and Ron to Neville and Luna while Ron sat there in silence with his cheeks blushed. Neville seemed to be attempting to act undisturbed by her vivid tale and Hermione wasn't sure if Luna was aware there was a conversation involving her going on.

Seamus finally showed up and sat across from Hermione. He greeted her with a huge smile, like he hadn't seen her in forever and the sight of her just made his day.

"How were your classes Hermione? You said you started Defense Against the Dark Arts today? How's Snape as the teacher?" Seamus was truly interested in her day. Butterflies filled her stomach as she realized this. He was interested in her, because he seemed to like her. She was both nervous and excited to see what could come from this friendship.

"Snape is surprisingly suited for the job." She looked up at him from her meal. They both laughed at that for a moment before she continued. "The only real issue is that I'm stuck sitting next to Malfoy for the rest of term. I suppose it's my fault for arriving last to class." She shrugged since there was really nothing to be done about the situation.

"Listen Hermione. If that tosser bothers you at all, you let me know." Seamus was looking directly into her eyes. "You don't deserve to be treated the way he treats you. You hear me?" He raised his eyebrow at her which was shortly followed by a small grin.

She was beat red now. She nodded her head and put one hand on her cheek in attempt to hide her blushing.

"Would you like me to walk you back to your room? If we go now I'll have time to get back to the Gryffindor tower too." Seamus said with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I would love that Seamus." She smiled.

They both left the table together and exited the hall.

It did not go unnoticed.

"Aw that is sweet. Seamus offered to walk her back." Ginny exclaimed.

"Yeah that's interesting though. I never would have seen that one coming." Neville seemed thrilled for a change in topic.

"So what now? Are they dating? Like an item or something?" Jealousy swelled slightly in Ron's voice.

"What concern is it to you Ron?" Ginny said angrily. "She is allowed to see who she pleases, as you are."

"Yeah. I'm just trying to look out for her is all." Ron shifted his eyes so that Lavender couldn't see the disappointment in them.

"She can tend to herself. She's a bright witch." Luna said suddenly. She hardly seemed interested in the conversation, but deemed it necessary to make that point.

"Exactly." Ginny said with a firm agreement. Then glanced at her brother to insist this conversation end.

"I for one am happy for her." Harry decided to get one comment in. "She seems happier recently. Like she's getting out of the funk she was in." He smiled.

They all nodded in agreement. All they wanted was for her to be happy. Whether they said anything or not, they sensed how left out she had been feeling. They wanted their Hermione back and if Seamus did it then so be it.

During their walk, Hermione and Seamus talked about a lot. What they did over the holiday. How their parents were the same no matter how long they were gone for school. Silly little things like their favorite books and foods.

Hermione was completely mesmerized by his cleverness and his silly little comment that made her giggle every time. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled this much. This was turning into something good. Really good. She wanted to know more about him. She wanted him to know more about her. She loved this feeling. The feeling of having someone to talk to and discuss your day with, it was calming. Comforting.

When they arrived at her door nerves and confusion set in. She seemed to be at a loss of control over her body. All of a sudden her brain and her body were not connected anymore.

In the final few steps before the goodnight she was thinking of how to really thank him for making her smile again. For making her feel like she wasn't alone. She hadn't been that happy since she had been home. She wanted to express her gratitude and her want to continue this friendship. She wanted to find out if he felt the same way.

Now that they were standing there, the moment had taken over. She was moving towards him. Like her movements were working all on their own. She leaned in and gave Seamus a small peck on the lips. When she moved away he was standing there frozen. He didn't say anything or move. She didn't think he even blinked. His eyes were widened with shock.

Embarrassment hit Hermione hard in the stomach. She darted to her door and muttered her password as she tried to hold back a sob.

Once she was safe inside she signed in and leaned against the closest wall. With a large sigh, she let out a cry. That was humiliating. How could she be so stupid? Obviously he wasn't expecting that and by his reaction he didn't want it. She should've have seen that. She should have known. She was an idiot and now he thought so too. Any chance of more than a friendship was now destroyed. Why did she have to rush it? She should have let him make the move, like any normal girl would have. Obviously she wasn't normal. Not enough for anyone to like her more than a friend.

"What's the matter Granger? Someone make you cry?" Said a mocking tone.

The voice scared her to death. Her heart jumped into her throat. She thought she had been alone in the room.

Unfortunately Draco had gone unnoticed at the fireplace and had seen her entire display. Could this get worse?

Now he was walking towards her with an evil look in his eye. A look like he was ready to feed off her sadness. He was pure evil. She hated him.

Hermione could fell the anger swelling in her gut just as it did this morning. She felt the loss of control happening again… and again felt unable to stop it.

So before Draco could play the first move, she let go of her emotions and spewed them all over him.

"Why don't you just crawl back into the vile hole you slithered out of? You are the most horrid, evil, disgusting creature I have EVER laid eyes on. For someone to treat another being the way you treat me it unacceptable. You are pathetic. I feel sorry for you Draco. Really I do. For you to constantly knock down other people just to feel better about yourself, well that must be the most awful feeling in the world. No I'm not sorry for you, I pity you." Hermione rose to her feet with a wild look in her eye.

Draco thought she had gone mad. She even used his first name. That was unusual in itself. He had never seen her try and intentionally hurt someone like she had just done. Granted he wasn't hurt by it, because it was just a silly Mudblood, but still something just snapped in her eyes. Had he gone too far?

"Don't you feel pity for me you filthy-" He was cut off by the fact that Hermione was now an inch away from his face with her crazed look staring him down. Bloody hell she had gone mad.

"Say it Malfoy! Say "Filthy Mudblood". Go on!" She waited, but he said nothing. So she struck again. "Is that all you have? Names and stupid words? I'm so fed up with you speaking to me as though I am nothing." She moved away from him, but quickly turned back to face him with an almost controlled madness look to her. "You know if I meant nothing to you like you say… you wouldn't spend this much time concerning yourself with me. Whether or not it is to hurt me. You still spend thoughts on me." She headed for her bedroom. "So simply just stop and we could both live happier. I want nothing to do with you and you with me. So be it. Finished." She closed her door behind her.

Draco stood shell shocked. He had just got a verbal lashing that should have left bruises.

"That was different." He mumbled to himself. Had he gone too far? She clearly wasn't stable when he started on her. Was it possible that he had pushed her over the edge?

He was feeling guilty. Bloody hell. Why was he feeling guilty? This is after all what he wanted to accomplish. Breaking her and she was clearly broken or at least cracked. Now for some unbeknownst reason he was feeling bad about doing it. Oh hell he did have a conscience.

[_Tap, tap, tap_]

Draco spun on his heel startled and faced the window. A ragged owl sat perched on the windowsill. He made his way over and let the bird in. Attached to its claw was a rolled up piece of parchment. He removed it and swatted the bird out of the room.

Draco unraveled the paper and began to read the note written.

_Son,_

_I am intrigued to hear that Potter's friend has been named Head Girl. This could be of some value to our side. Stay vigilant and I will update you when the time comes._

_L._

A swell of anger grew in Draco's throat. He crumpled up the paper and threw it into the remaining fire. Lucius only acknowledged the fact that Granger was Head Girl and they could use that as a ploy? How predictable of his father. Not caring about his son's achievements. It hurt Draco and also made him angry. He was so dedicated to his father. He followed his every wish and command. Instead of gratitude and praise, he got nothing. How could a father simply not care about his son? Draco was just a soldier. Just a tool in their game.

Draco sat there on the sofa staring at the fire. The guilt started to crawl to his thoughts again. What would they plan for Granger? It clearly wasn't anything good. Just… how far would they take this information? Would they hurt her to get to Potter? Would they make him hurt her?

He rested his arms on his knees and placed his forehead into his palms. What would he do if they asked him to complete such a task? Was he capable of killing someone? Someone he's been around for six years? Yes he hated her kind, but did he really think she deserved punishment for it?

Did he even hate her? Was it possible that he has just been keeping up this act to please his father without really knowing that it was an act? Could he believe something different? Something other than what he was raised to know?

Why all of this doubt now? What has changed?

He grew tired of these thoughts. He rested his head on the arm of the sofa and tried to clear the nagging voice in the back of his mind.


	4. Chapter 3 Beliefs

**Chapter Three – Beliefs**

Draco woke up in the most uncomfortable position.

He had fallen asleep on the sofa. Nothing he planned on doing, but he got lost in his thoughts the night before and just dozed off.

With a yawn, he rubbed his palm over his face and tried to wipe away the sleepiness. He got up into a seated position. His neck felt stiff when he moved it to stretch. He tried to rub out the knot, but it just wasn't working. With a sigh he leaned his head onto the back of the sofa.

After a moment he opened his eyes and was startled by the upside down view.

Hermione was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and the newest edition of the Quibbler. She didn't even notice that he had woken up and was now oddly staring at her from the sofa. Draco could help but study her.

Something about her was off.

She looked unnervingly calm. Compared to last night she seemed like a completely different person.

Except for her eyes. Her eyes seemed drained. Like her spirit was being suck out of her. The brightness in her face had dulled. She looked defeated.

For some reason Draco felt a twinge of concern.

He shot up immediately and headed straight to his room. He didn't stop to acknowledge her. He needed to remove himself from the room. Clearly he was also losing his mind. Feeling concern for her? That is madness.

He landed a belly flop on to his bed and let out a pained moan. Still sore from his night on the couch he decided a hot shower would loosen the muscles. Taking a few moments to gather the will to move again, he rolled over onto his back and sat up onto the edge of the bed. Eying his next destination, he stood and went to the closet. He gathered him things and made way for the washroom.

When he exited his room, Hermione had disappeared. He didn't hear the portrait hole open or any noise for that matter, so maybe she was hiding in her room.

Instead of spending more of his thoughts wondering about her, Draco went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Steam quickly filled the room as he undressed. He stepped into the tub and positioned himself so his neck was receiving most of the pressure from the shower head.

It worked like he had planned. His neck loosened enough so that he could function without strain. It would've have been a burden to go through the day with a crick. He didn't need the added stress.

After he had dressed and styled his hair for the day, he went to the kitchen to waste the final moments before he was to attend classes.

He made himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a strawberry scone from the platter on the counter. He assumed it was a "Congratulations on your Head positions" breakfast. He wouldn't want to think the Mudblood had made them. If that were the case he couldn't mindfully take one. They were delicious regardless.

Sitting at the table he picked up the paper Hermione had been reading when he woke.

Draco had read an edition of the Quibbler once before. It wasn't in his tastes, but there wasn't anything else in reach. He began flipping through the pages searching for something read worthy. There was an article on the sixth page that particularly caught his eye.

It was a report on the fight for Muggle-born wizard rights and their effort to survive the war against their kind. Nothing that would normally interest Draco, but this time he couldn't help but be drawn to it.

There was an announcement in the right-hand column. It was a list of the recent casualties from the vicious attacks against the Muggle community. Draco read down the horrific amount of faceless names until one stopped his breath short.

Ted Tonks.

He blinked a few times to be sure he wasn't reading it incorrectly. Draco began sinking in his seat. His sight began to tunnel around Ted's name. The world had stopped. There was no other sound besides his heavy breathing. A chill began to creep down his spine. He couldn't believe knew someone's name on this list.

Ted Tonks was the husband to his estranged aunt Andromeda, she was an older sister to his mother. When Andromeda expressed her feelings for her Muggle-born love, she had been banished from the family. She hadn't been heard from since.

Draco's mother had always regretted allowing all ties to be severed.

He remembered Narcissa expressing her sadness on the situation to him once when he was younger. It was really the only time he had seen his mother be so open about her feelings. When he was growing up, most of the time Narcissa was quiet and obedient, especially when Lucius was present.

This time she let a tear slip past her eyelid and a quiet sob leaked from her lips. Draco saw it though, even though she tried to hide it.

Draco wanted to know why she was so upset. He didn't see a reason to feel for his aunt. Andromeda had chosen against the family. He didn't understand his mother's sadness. Being as young as he was, there wasn't really a filter on questions he was curious to ask.

"How can you care about her when she loves someone who isn't worth loving? He had dirty blood. She shouldn't love him." Draco had already grown this harsh outlook on Muggles at a very early age. It had been drilled into him by his father.

The question and his words seemed to hurt Narcissa deeply. Her expression was pained at first and then it turned back into sorrow.

She kneeled down to be eye level with Draco. She cupped his cheek and rubbed it gently with her thumb. She wanted him to understand what she was about to say.

"My sweet boy. You are too young to have such cold thoughts. It's not for you to think about matters such as bloodlines and purity. They will never be as important as you think." She tried to end it there, but saw that her clever boy didn't approve of that response. He had always been one to pry for more.

She explained as best she could. "I care about her because she is my sister. I love her unconditionally. In spite of everything my boy, I will always love her. For you see, you cannot choose who you love. Your heart wants what it wants. Sometimes, sadly, people don't approve of the heart. That's what happened to your aunt. She loves who she loves. I shall not fault her for that."

Narcissa then kissed Draco's forehead and sent him along to play.

His mother's words had stuck in the back of his mind all this time.

Now seeing his uncle's name in the obituaries, they came screeching back. There was an ache in his heart. A pain like he hadn't felt before. Sorrow?

He wondered how his aunt was dealing with her loss. Was she alright? Does she have someone to lean on? He couldn't imagine losing someone and having to face it alone. He felt terrible.

Another wave of terror swept over him. What if Andromeda had been hurt as well? Her name wouldn't be posted on this list. How would his mother cope if something had happened to her sister? Would they ever know for sure? Andromeda would not likely return to her family even though Ted was gone.

Draco even thought that would be considered an act of betrayal to her husband. After all they had fought for, that wouldn't be an option. So her fate might never be discovered.

If she were still alive, she wouldn't contact anyone from the family. She would stay true to who she was and what she believed. Her family abandoned her. She did what she had to with what she was given.

Even though he doesn't really remember his aunt and had never met her husband, he always had a place of respect for them. They chose to follow their own path. Against all that stood in their way. He thought that was admirable. He couldn't imagine doing it himself.

Granted he didn't approve of the whole mixed blood relationship. He didn't know why he didn't, he just didn't. Probably from the years of those ideals pushed on him by Lucius. It was what he was taught.

Still Andromeda and Ted followed their hearts, not orders. Something he could never imagine doing. They were braver than he could ever try to be. There was no way he couldn't respect that.

He had been staring at that list for a good ten minutes now. He didn't even realize he was being watched. When the feeling of a stare crept onto his back, he stiffened.

"I'm sorry." Hermione said sheepishly, as though she didn't know if it were appropriate to say. "About your uncle I mean. I know you weren't close, but still... I'm sorry." Hermione feeling like she had stepped some line made her way towards the portrait.

"Yeah… thanks." Draco said still stiff as a board. He didn't even turn to face her.

It was barely above a whisper, but Hermione heard him clearly. She wondered if he even knew he had said it.

She let a half sympathetic smile form on her lips. She felt as though she should do something more. Then she remembered who she was thinking about and pushed that thought out of her head. She then opened the door and left him to himself. She needed to let him have the space alone. So she went for a stroll to the library.

She felt for him. Understood how he felt. Being friends with Harry Potter you see a lot of loss and sadness. She knew somewhat the hurt he was feeling. She has experienced loss several times in her short life and it hurt to see anyone in that state. She didn't think anyone deserved to be burdened with those feelings. Even Draco. Just because he wasn't a decent person, didn't mean he deserved to feel pain.

Hermione had read the article earlier in the morning, but didn't see it her place to tell him. She thought it best to leave the paper on the table and hope he would find it.

When she found him in that position, sadness crept over her. She had never seen him so vulnerable before. He looked lost, like a shell of a person. At least until he realized she was standing there. Then he flickered back into his usual stiff posture. He obviously wouldn't show weakness. Not to anyone, especially her. Hermione had never known him to be one to let his guard down. Ever.

It sort of allowed her to see him for a person for a brief moment. Instead of the evil ferret she was prone to viewing.

She realized in that moment that he could have feelings, deeper feelings than he has previously shown and maybe there was hope for him after all. Ted Tonks was a Muggle. Seeing Draco care for his uncle in spite of that, even just slightly, well that was astonishing. She didn't think he was capable of caring for anyone who didn't have pure blood flushing through their veins.

To her own surprise she had already made it to the library. Getting lost in her thoughts had made her miss the long walk from her dorm.

Shaking the thoughts from her head she continued on her path.

Hermione stopped suddenly when she reached the doorway of the library. Her thoughts interrupted by the scene that appeared before her. Nerves went rushing through her body.

Straight ahead sat Seamus huddled around a table with Harry, Ron, Neville and Dean. All of them were laughing while talking amongst themselves. Hermione felt a sickness growing in her gut.

She was about to run when Ginny popped up next to her.

"You alright Hermione?" Ginny said quietly. She had noticed Hermione's retreating posture.

Without a word Hermione grabbed Ginny's wrist and pulled her back into the hallway.

"Ow Hermione! Stop pulling me. What is wrong with you?" Ginny had a slight tone of annoyance in her voice, but it was cancelled out by the curiosity of finding out what Hermione was doing.

Hermione let go once they had ducked into a smaller hallway. She peered around them to make sure no one was in listening distance. When she turned to face her friend she was biting her bottom lip. She was practically gnawing at it.

"Oh Ginny I'm so stupid!" She turned away again and had both hands covering her mouth trying to prevent a cry from slipping out.

"Hermione… What are you on about?" Ginny placed her hand on her best friends shoulder. She was concerned by the demeanor Hermione was displaying. Hermione's behavior was becoming increasingly erratic and she was pacing the length of the hallway.

She stopped to explain to Ginny. Without turning, Hermione continued. "Last night… Seamus walked me back to my rooms. We were having a wonderful chat. It was a really great time. He made me laugh like I hadn't in a long time." She paused and returned her gaze to Ginny. "When we got to my door… I don't know what came over me Ginny. He had been so sweet. All of a sudden I was moving forward and then I kissed him." She returned to her lip chewing.

"You kissed him? Oh my goodness Hermione, that's brilliant!" Ginny was now grasping both Hermione's shoulders as she leapt for joy.

Hermione gently swatted them down. "Not brilliant Gin. He didn't kiss me back. In fact, when I moved away he looked terrified. It was mortifying. I am a fool. I shouldn't have rushed the situation. I scared him off. Everything is ruined and he's probably having a laugh at my expense. I know he's in there right now telling them what a bugger kisser I am. Oh I should just hide away for the day." She tilted her head backwards and let out a sigh.

"Hermione, breathe. There is no need for the dramatics. Honestly you are getting all worked up over probably nothing. Maybe he just wasn't expecting it. You aren't known for spur of the moment impulses. It probably just threw him off. Not scared him off." Ginny tried to calm Hermione.

"How do you know this Ginny? You didn't see his face. He didn't say a word. He just stood there. I felt so stupid. Oh I am such a-" Ginny cut her off with a snapping glare.

"Stop it. You will know nothing until you actually talk to him. You don't know what he's thinking. Stop assuming Hermione. You're supposed to be the level headed one. Relax. You're stressing me out with your crazy babble." Ginny wasn't budging on this.

Hermione made a surrendering sigh and hunched her shoulders. "You're right. Of course you're right. I should just talk to him. But… not now, okay? Can we go have a quick breakfast before class instead? Anything? I'm not prepared for that talk now." Hermione gave a nervous smile.

"Sure. Let's go. Luna was supposed to meet me here. Hopefully we'll run into her on the way." Ginny looped her arm through Hermione's and they took off down the hall.

Hermione glanced back to thelibrary door. She knew she would have to talk to Seamus soon. Avoiding him would most likely make matters worse.

Seamus owed her an explanation. He led her to believe there was something developing. In the end she stood there looking stupid. On the other hand she would most likely have to do some explaining on her part. She had leapt on him like an animal. She needed to apologize at the least. It was embarrassing, she should have controlled herself.

"Come on Hermione. Don't worry about it now. Let's just get to the food and it'll be all better." Ginny winked and brought Hermione's head down to her shoulder.

"Thanks Ginny. I don't think I would be as collected without you." Hermione giggled at herself.

Draco was still sitting at the kitchen table. He just couldn't force any energy out to move. The thoughts of his mother and his aunt kept rushing through his mind. It was making it hard to get going for the day.

He was hesitant to see everyone. He didn't want people to know. He did not want his fellow Slytherins asking what was wrong with him. He just wanted to forget this happened. If they knew he felt sympathy towards a Mudblood, well he'd never hear the end of it.

He had to gather himself. It'd be worse to not show up at all. He had to get a move on.

[_Woosh_]

Draco whipped his head to the side. A dark hooded figure was stepping from the fire place.

Draco stood quickly and drew his wand in defense. He wasn't sure how this person had found their way into his dorm, but now he felt like an attack was looming.

"Who the hell are you?" Draco shouted angrily. He took a large step forward.

There was no answer. The figure walked across the room concealing its face. It slowly paced the length of the room, as if it were observing something.

Draco kept his eyes locked. He was becoming more unsettled as the silence went on. This person was acting as though they owned the place. Draco wasn't about to let them pull something over him. He wasn't having it.

"I said who the fuck are you?" Draco shouted louder than before. He hesitated charging towards the invader this time. He hadn't yet determined a course of action. He hadn't grasped the motivation the intruder had coming here. Draco wasn't sure what this person would do if threatened.

"Answer me!" Was it best to wait for them to make a move, or should he just take the upper hand?

The figure stopped suddenly after it had checked over the contents of the room. As if to make sure there wasn't anyone else present. It turned to face Draco and removed its hood to reveal itself.

Draco was dumbfounded by the person in front of him. How?

"Mother? What are you doing here? How are you here? Dumbledore charmed the school to prevent intruders. It is impossible to get around them." Draco placed his wand back into his jacket. He then made way to his mother.

She looked positively distraught. Stress and worry were spread over her features. Draco saw the remains of stress wrinkles on her forehead and redness from tears on her cheeks. He hurried to grab his mother's arm to help her be seated.

"The charms are to prevent threats from entering the school. I am not one. I had to come here. I had to see if you had heard about... One of the elves brought the article to my attention." Narcissa took a seat before Draco had fully grasped her arm. Her hand clasped to her mouth as she let out a cry.

"I haven't spoken about it out loud yet. It makes it more real." She had a tear falling down her face now. She couldn't find the words to continue.

"Mother I'm so sorry. I know you are worried about Andromeda. Not knowing where she is must be making this more difficult. If there is anything I can do to help." Draco looked at his mother with concern.

It had been a long time since he had seen his mother so upset. It took something out of him. His heart hurt watching her in such pain.

"Draco darling there is nothing I could ask you to do. There isn't anything anyone can do. I just wish the whole situation had been different… Oh my boy." She had turned and cupped her son's cheek.

"You know there hasn't been a day that has gone past that I don't regret the path I had chosen. I stood against my own sister. Over something as petty as blood, I was foolish. I cannot change it and it will haunt me forever." She was staring deeply at Draco now. She had to get the point across.

"I never want you to feel this. I never want you to limit your mind. To brush people off because you were told they were beneath you. There are so many more important things in life. Time is too precious to dwell on the little things. Make your own decisions sweetheart. I know your father had made his beliefs clear as well as his expectations." She stood as though something had startled her. As if speaking of Lucius was a taboo. Her demeanor became uncomfortable. She made her way back to the fire place.

"You don't have to follow the path that has been drawn for you. You are capable of creating your own. I believe you have more to offer, if only you open your mind to the whole world. Don't close yourself off. I want more than this life for you Draco." She opened the portal she had entered through when she first arrived. Before stepping in she looked back to her child.

"I love you Draco. I always will. You are my son and you mean the world to me. No matter what choices you make. No matter the beliefs you follow. You will always have me on your side." With a nod Narcissa stepped into the flames and disappeared into the ashes.

Draco sat on the couch letting everything soak up. His mother looked so sad and worried. He wished there was something he could do to take some of the burden off of her. It pained him deeply to witness her hurting.

He was taken aback though by how open she had been. She didn't seem afraid of what his father might think, until it hit her in the end that is. Draco was told to abandon everything his father had taught. Abandon it to build up new beliefs. His own.

That terrified him. His entire life he has done what he had been told and what was expected. He learned fast that if he disobeyed he would regret the consequences. He grew up with a fear of disappointing his father. Draco wasn't sure he would be able to do that. He didn't think he was strong enough. He wanted so badly to do this for his mother. To show her that he could be more than what was expected of him.

Then again, did he want more?

The plans made for him were safe. They were set in stone and guaranteed him safety if the Dark Lord won.

That "if" is what was throwing Draco's mind wildly from side to side. What if defeat was what occurred and Potter's side won? Would everything he was doing be worth it? What would become of him in that outcome? What of his mother?

He was so torn between everything digging at his mind. His mother, his father, the war, just everything was breaking him down. There was far too much expected from him. He was only a bloody sixth year. This shouldn't be put on his shoulders. The pressure is getting too heavy for him. His mind and heart were breaking down slowly. He didn't know what to do. He just couldn't be burdened by duties anymore. The demand was too much.

Draco wanted it all to end. He knew sooner rather than later that he would be summoned. Then there would be no going back. Was he prepared to do what was asked of him? At the moment, he didn't think so. He wanted to try for his mother. He wanted to see things the way she wished. He just had to erase years of ideals burned into his mind. That was where the lines blurred. How much was he going to be able to forget? Was he capable of changing?

He didn't know how far he was going to be able to go.

"_Draco Bloody Malfoy! Are you in there? I'm not your bloody babysitter. Pansy on the other hand thinks I'm here to seek you out and check up on you. For Salazar's sake Draco, answer your bloody door!"_

Draco broke from his thoughts. The ramblings from Theo Nott could break anyone's concentration.

"_Who do these people think I am? A bloody house elf? Come on Draco. Get your snarky ass outside so I can move on with my life." _

Draco charged to the door and swung it open. He snickered as he saw Theo stumble backwards to avoid being struck.

"What do you want Nott? Can a guy have some peace? I thought living with the Mudblood was going to be my big annoyance this year. Now hearing your voice scratch at my eardrums, I see I might have been wrong." Draco shoved by his friend and down the hall.

"Ouch. You know that hurt Draco. Here I am going out of my way to check on my mate and when I get here, I'm verbally abused. That was the worst display of manners I have ever seen." Theo caught up to Draco's side and they were walking at a steady pace.

"Oh shove it Theo. You wouldn't have been here if Pansy hadn't asked you to come." Draco gave Theo a devious smile. "We can all see she's got you wrapped around her finger. Don't try denying it either."

"Of course I wouldn't be here if I hadn't been forced to. You're a big boy Draco. I assumed you could handle yourself. Pansy on the other hand was convinced you needed my bruiting strength to come to your aid." Theo tried to make that comment dig under Draco's skin. But instead he got laughter.

"Avoiding the topic I see. Alright Nott. I'll let you slip by this time. But like I said, we all see it." Draco laughed as Theo shoved him to the side.

They continued their way to class.

Draco arrived after Hermione. Sitting next to her seemed to bother him more when he had to join her, instead of the other way around. It felt more tolerable if she had to sit with him after he had already been there.

Plus after she had found him earlier in the kitchen, he wasn't ready for her taunting. He had been foolish to let his guard down in the open. So he was hoping she would keep her mouth shut. He wasn't in the mood for a battle today.

Draco placed his books on the table and sat down without a glance in Hermione's direction.

Hermione peeked out of the corner of her eye. She saw that Draco's stiff demeanor was fully intact. Expected. Now he was out in front of everyone, she should have figured he would have his wall back up. But there was a hint of nerves creeping into his eyes. She could only assume he was concerned that she knew about what had happened this morning. Also that she saw him caring about it. Thing was she would never bring up peoples weaknesses for entertainment, especially in a class of their peers. That just wasn't her.

Neither of them said a word to each other or to the class the entire time. They just sat and took their notes in silence.

Hermione thought it strange that Draco was letting the fact that she knew affect him so much. On a normal day Draco would be the annoying gnat that she had grown to know. Torture to others was his favorite pastime. Now he was just outright ignoring her. It was very odd.

"Now you all have an assignment. You will work with the student you are seated with on this." Snape declared as the class was ending.

Draco's attention was grabbed at that. This had to be a joke. Was the faculty out to break him? He was getting fed up.

"You goal is to work with your partner on the proper and successful defensive procedures against a particular attack. Your group is able to choose their own attack and have it approved by myself. We wouldn't want any of you to have missing limbs or loss of memory. Have your option chosen by tomorrow's class." Snape then dismissed the students.

Students pooled out of the class and into the hallway. Everyone began to scatter to their other classes.

Draco wasn't wasting any time getting away. Though he wasn't close to her, he knew Granger enough that she would immediately want to begin work on the project. It was an annoying quality he saw from her over the years. He was not ready to start today. Too much was going on in just a short twenty four hours. He didn't need this additional problem now.

"Malfoy hold up!" Hermione was scrambling to make her way through the cluster of students between her and Draco.

Draco not wanting anything to do with her at the moment ducked down the closest hallway and disappeared from sight. Normally he would figure getting it over with would be the best plan of action, but now was not the time.

Hermione stopped her maneuvering after he was out of sight. How did Snape expect them to work together if Draco wouldn't even stay still long enough? He was being very odd today. It was obvious what was doing it. She just never thought Draco Malfoy would care so much about a Muggle.

Out witted, Hermione sulked off to her next class. She needed to get this project underway. Always being ahead of the curve has given her this mentality where she needed to get things done far before necessary. It annoyed her that she was the only one who thought this way. Out of anyone she knew she thought Draco would be on her same level.

She would have to corner him later tonight in their dorm. After all where could he hide? They had to stay in their dorms after curfew.


	5. Chapter 4 Walls Come Crashing Down

**Chapter 4 –Walls Come Crashing Down**

"Honestly Malfoy you're being ridiculously stubborn!" Hermione shouted.

"I don't bloody have time for this right now Granger! I'm busy." He should have never come back out in the first place. He was safe and secure in his room. Unfortunately nature called and he had to venture to the bathroom. Now he was cornered by an annoying little twit. He needed to get away from her. So he began his escape towards his bedroom.

His plan was derailed once Hermione pounced in his path.

"You are busy? It's past curfew. You are not leaving. What could possibly be tying up your time? Malfoy this assignment needs to be done by tomorrow's class. I suggest you free up your schedule and agree on a course of action." Hermione crossed her arms to point out that she was not budging on the matter.

"This isn't war tactics Granger. Course of action? Ha! You act like this is really going to matter." Draco side stepped her and finally made it to his door.

"Of course it matters! It affects our grade. You can't be serious. Snape will chew us out in front of the entire class if we show up unprepared tomorrow." Hermione's voice showed a hint of begging. With this, right about now, she could see it getting to that point. She didn't understand why he was being so difficult. She wasn't asking him for a favor or anything. She just wanted to get their assignment done.

Draco really didn't want anything to do with her or the project at the moment. He was at his breaking point for the day. Everything was again piling up on his shoulders. It was getting too high and heavy for him. Now Hermione was nagging him. It was not going to improve his situation. He needed to get out of this room and away from her.

"Listen Granger, because I am not repeating this. These stupid class assignments and grades and all the useless events that happen this year mean nothing. You and I both know what is coming. It's coming fast too. Most of the people in this joint won't be ready for what is going to happen. I do not plan to be one of them. There are far more important matters at hand. So in the end NONE of this will matter. It is just a waste of time." He went to turn the doorknob when Hermione grabbed his wrist. He swung his arm through the air releasing her grip. He stared at her with fury. How dare she even think of touching him?

Hermione stumbled back a few steps and regained her composure. Maybe that wasn't the way to have gotten his attention, but it seemed to work.

"I do know what is coming. I'm not trying to ignore it. I understand that things are going to get worse really fast around here. People won't know what to do and there isn't anything I can do to prevent it. It hurts all the time knowing that I can't stop it or better prepare the others. I feel horribly selfish knowing what is going on when mostly everyone is in the dark. It seems so hopeless most of the time." Hermione's eyes misted with tears.

Draco felt a twinge of sadness watching her struggle as she opened up to him. It was strange but she seemed to need to vent about this. So he was going to let her. Not because he was obligated to, but because he felt like it was a step his mother would want him to take. He said he was going to try. Who better to try with than Granger? He had nothing to lose with her. So he was going to let her pour everything out to him.

"It's just education has always been important to me. I don't want a stupid war… a war that is trying to take my right to this education away from me… I will not let it get in my way. I plan on taking advantage of every opportunity I can, while I can. What is so wrong with that? Why is it silly to want more out of life? I want the most out of this year. I want it because I don't even know if I'll be here come next year. I don't know if any of us will be." She was opening herself up to Draco Malfoy. She was sharing something that she hadn't even spoken about with Harry, Ron or any of her friends. She was vulnerable in his presence. It frightened her a bit. That she felt okay with letting him into that part of her, a part that defined her.

"It's just really important and I just wish you could sit down to agree on this project." She was getting frustrated. She was being honest with him yet he wasn't agreeing to work with her on the assignment.  
>Draco was dumbfounded by her telling him all of this. He was not expecting that as a response. It actually hit him hard. Her reason was not wrong. She was fighting for her right to practice magic. Why wouldn't she want to soak up as much as she could now?<p>

He felt sort of foolish. He never thought about that particular impact of this battle. Then again why would he have thought about it? Mudbloods were never his concern. Neither were their struggles.

Now he was hearing the words spoken. Hearing the want for something more than what might be possible in the future. It really hit him that there was more than one side to this war. That he might not have been as open as he should have been. There was clearly more to this that he had originally been taught and she just hit him with that realization.

Maybe he has been too quick to judge. Who gave him the right to deem something or someone more important? From what he had just heard, Hermione's battle seemed more meaningful. There was heart behind her fight. Where for him there wasn't much backing up his side to the war. He was just doing as told. That reason seemed invalid in comparison.

Was this what his mother was talking about? Opening up to more than what he already knew. Letting the feelings of others change his outlook on things. There were more opinions than just his and maybe it was time he listened to some of them.

He was standing there like an idiot just thinking off in his head. He hadn't said a word after Hermione finished. He couldn't think any more about this right now. It's far too much to top off the day. He was exhausted and wanted this day to end.

Without turning back to face her he opened his door and began to step in.

"It's been far too long of a day Granger. I'm lacking the will to care about a project tonight." He paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder to her. "Tomorrow morning before classes… we'll give it a go." He shut the door carefully behind him.

Hermione slowly backed into the sofa and sat down. She had gotten so flustered again that she revealed a personal feeling to Malfoy. How is it possible that he is capable of causing her to lose her composure? He definitely knew how to get under her skin. That is for sure.

It was strange that he didn't argue her points. From his standing in the whole meaning of this war, she expected him to shoot down her perspective and tell her Mudblood ideas are invalid. He didn't though. He just stood there staring. The look in his eyes seemed to flicker with realization. His whole demeanor changed after she let go of her feelings.

Like he was beginning to understand?

No. Draco Malfoy could never understand. He was born into a family that despised the likes of her. There was no getting through to that boy. 

She leaned her head onto the arm rest. She was tired. She had a long day as well. Granted Draco's reasoning was far more understandable than her pathetic boy drama. Yet she couldn't help but let her eyelids slip closed. She wanted to forget the embarrassment from the last two days. Sleep would do just the trick. Without even realizing she drifted into sleep right there on the sofa.

Draco woke in his bed still in his clothes from the day before. He was too exhausted and frankly too annoyed to change into his pajamas last night. With the howling of Hermione's demands and the ache of the visit from his mother, he barely had anything left in him to want to get out of bed this morning.  
>But he recalled his odd agreement to sit down with Granger and have them a chat. He was obviously delirious from being so tired that he made this foolish suggestion.<p>

So with great reluctance he hoisted himself up onto his elbows and then scooted off the mattress. He walked over to his wardrobe to change his shirt and sweater. He then moved to his mirror and caught a glimpse of the terrifying sight. His hair was sprung about over his head while his cheeks were imprinted from the wrinkles of his pillow. An unkempt appearance was something Draco would never allow himself to be caught with. It wasn't in his nature to look disheveled and he wouldn't start today.

When he managed to finish making himself look presentable, he made his way to the living area. When he opened the door he froze at the sight before him.

Hermione was sprawled out on the couch in the most unladylike position. She was lying on her stomach with her right leg hanging over the side. Her right hand was squished up under her cheek, which made her face look pudgier than it was. There was a small leakage of drool pooling onto the back of her hand and her hair was flipped up above her head. She looked as though she had been tossed around while asleep. Her clothes were all twisted around her small figure and her socks had fallen down to her ankles.

Draco got this strange chill up his spine when he saw that Hermione's skirt was hiked up a litter higher than she had ever worn it. In that position he could see her high inner thigh and it made him blush slightly. She looked so… natural. He never thought of a girl as attractive without them having worked on their appearance. Even then some of the girls he has been with didn't give him this feeling. Seeing her like that though gave him a feeling he hadn't felt before. He couldn't help but examine her in this moment. He didn't know why but seeing her there without her knowing he's seeing her, it made feel okay to think she looked attractive. And boy did she look good.

Hermione stirred suddenly which snapped Draco back into the reality of where he was. He fumbled with his thoughts and tried to figure out what he was supposed to be doing. Something that didn't involve staring at her for a long period of time like the strange bloke he was being.

So hoping she wouldn't wake up before he had started on something he hurried to the kitchen area.

Again he struggled with finding something to make it look like he had been doing it this whole time. So he grabbed some waffles and fruit, then he started to prepare breakfast for the two of them.

He toasted the waffles and mixed the fruit together. He began to set the table then he froze suddenly.  
>"What the hell am I doing?" He took a step back and glanced at the fully prepared breakfast for two that was out before him.<p>

Draco peeked over the couch at the still barely asleep Hermione. She was waking up and he was making the breakfast? How is this normal? Obviously Hermione would notice that this was clearly not something that would usually happen. There wouldn't be a reason for him to be making this meal.

What excuse could he come up with?

Draco rushed to the bathroom to… well to hide he supposed. Although it wasn't like that was going to help him deny making breakfast for them to share. So he just sat on the toilet, placed his head in his hands and waited for the inevitable awkward situation.

Hermione woke up to the smell of toasted waffles and coffee. She rubbed the pool of drool off of her hand and cheek. Then she pushed herself up onto her palms and peeked over the back of the couch.

She scrunched her forehead at the display before her. Breakfast with the table set?

Hermione stood up and walked over to the table.

There was a cute little set up laid out for two. But why was there a set up for two? What was going on here? Hermione looked around and was even more confused when she didn't find anyone else in the room. It was without a doubt Draco who made this. No one else would have come into their quarters so early and prepare a meal. So where did he get off to? It was still warm so he couldn't have made it far.

Hermione's eyes landed on the shadow moving behind the crack of the bathroom door. Was Draco Malfoy hiding? What purpose was there to hide? He was the only other person that could have done this. It seemed a bit silly to try and hide from it.

So Hermione went over to the door and gave it a light tap.

"Malfoy? Is there a reason you are hiding?" Hermione tried to say it without giggling, but failed horribly.

Draco whipped the door open. He did not appreciate that snide comment or the laughter.

"I am not hiding. I am using the bathroom for the sole purpose of it being here." He said as he tilted his chin up in defense.

Hermione could see a shade of embarrassment washed in Draco's cheeks. This couldn't get any better.

"What's with the display? Trying to apologize for your rude behavior yesterday? I suppose I can forgive this once. Don't get use to i-" Hermione was cut off.

"I would never find any situation fitting enough to ever apologize to you. Understood?" Draco was about the shade of a tomato now.

Hermione couldn't help but slip into a fit of laughter. She was in tears and gasping for air. Watching Draco desperately search for an excuse was far too amusing. There was no way she could have held back her laughter. It was just too funny.

She moved over to the kitchen table and took her seat. She had to take her gaze off of him otherwise she might not ever breathe again. So she concentrated on the window and anything outside of it. Once she had calmed down slightly she noticed the annoyance spread over Draco's face.

"Are you finished? Weren't you the one blabbing about how important this project was? Now you're here wasting my time laughing about nonsense." He was hoping they could just move off of the topic of breakfast. But Draco couldn't help get slightly embarrassed. Hermione knew he had cooked her food and that he tried to deny it in the most pathetic of ways. It was rattling to know she knew something that could set his fellow Slytherins off. There was no escaping this mistake. He had to just roll with it.

So he took his seat and filled his plate.

It was an awkward few moments. Both of them cutting and chewing their food. Taking small sips of coffee while making avoiding glances around the room.

Finally Hermione broke the silence. "So what should our attack spell be? Once we decide on that the defense spell will be no problem. It's just the attack spell must be good. Not good enough to harm like the professor said, but better than anyone else's. They all just come up with fire charms and their counters that produce water. Nothing spectacular. Given the fact that we are the top two students here I figure we can come up with something to blow the competition out of the water. No pun intended. What do you think? You haven't really said much. It's both our project. Come on, let's hear it."

"Bloody hell. How is a bloke supposed to get a word in with your constant jabbering? I haven't said much because you haven't breathed much." Draco rubbed his temple with his thumb.

"Well pardon me. I assumed you would just chime in whenever you saw fit. I never thought of you as someone to wait for their turn to speak. Manners are not one of your obvious qualities." Hermione took a spoon full of fruit and shoved it into her mouth. Unfortunately the bite was too large and not all of it made it into her mouth.

"Table manners are clearly not one of yours. Daintiness was apparently missed on you." Draco scoffed at the unpleasant sight.

"Well I'm not trying to impress you." Hermione took another large bite and again some missed her mouth.

"Charming." Draco, without choice, let a smile graze his mouth.

In seeing this, Hermione giggled softly and patted her lips with a napkin.

Draco was now focused on how the corners of her eyes wrinkle when she laughs. The wrinkles haven't permanently set into her skin, but it gave her this child-like look. It was endearing. He never noticed how real she was. Well not real, she was obviously real, but human. She looked like any other girl he's met. Better even.

He's never been able to notice before, he'd been blinded by the ideals his father had masked him with. Her blood didn't matter. Did it? She doesn't seem dirty or smell of filth. Was it all some twisted game for power over something? Some evil scheme of revenge and hatred? Is that what all of this killing and bloodshed is based on? If so then who is to say he finds that worth fighting for? Worth ending someone's life over?

"Malfoy?" Hermione was staring directly at Draco.

He had been locked on her face, staring at her features trying to find some flaw. Something to set her apart from the Pureblood girls. Something to solidify his father's beliefs. He could find none.  
>He shook himself out of the trance he had gotten lost in and returned to eating his now cooled breakfast.<p>

Hermione felt uneasy about how long Draco had been looking at her. He wasn't even saying anything. It was quite odd.

"I think we should use the Oppugno charm. One of us can charm something that isn't a bodily threat at the other and…" Draco paused to think of a decent counter charm.

"Oh! We could use Protego, it's a spell that produces a magical shield. Brilliant!" Hermione bounced a little in her seat. It was comforting to know that progress had been made.

Draco wrinkled his forehead at how joyous she became with them actually deciding on something.

"Alright, but I think it would put us over the top if we could get a second defense charm. So that there would be one attack blocked, then another can be casted and blocked. It would be a real show." Draco was oddly enough joining Hermione in her excitement. He really did love school work and showing how much more he knew than the other students. It gave him a real sense of self-worth. Something he could be proud of regardless of what his father might think.

"That's brilliant Malfoy. Hm... now to think of another." Hermione chuckled softly at the fact that she was enjoying herself. With Draco of all people. She couldn't believe it.

"What about that spell you used to stop the bludger from pummeling Potter at that Quidditch game second year?" Draco said with hope that she'll remember. Of course she'll remember, it's Granger.

"Oh yeah right. Finite Incantatem. It's used to cancel out spells. I think that will work as our second defense. That's brilliant. I'll write up our idea to hand into the professor. Brilliant." Hermione was exceptionally happy. There was a plan.

"Sounds good Granger. Glad we could finally figure this out. Now if you'll excuse me I have other things to do today." Draco pushed his seat out and went to grab his bag.

"Malfoy?" Again Hermione couldn't help but produce a sheepish sounding voice. "I… uh… I just wanted to say thanks. You know… for letting me get all that nonsense out last night. Thanks." She shied her eyes away so he couldn't see her ongoing embarrassment.

"Yeah. Well no problem. I won't blab about your little meltdown and you keep quiet about this breakfast thing. Alright?" Draco began to head for the portrait.

"Deal." Hermione said softly as she went to sip her coffee again.

The door slammed shut, leaving Hermione alone.

She cast a small charm to clean up the remains of their breakfast. Then she went to her desk and wrote up the proposal for their assignment.

_Assignment by Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy_

_Our idea for the assignment is to preform and demonstrate the proper defensive technique for the Oppugno charm._

_Our plan is to show two different defenses. First we are going to use the Protego charm to produce a shield to repel magical attacks. Then we will send another attack and use Finite Incantatum to cancel out the magical spell on the specific object being projected. With this demonstration we hope to educate the class on a few helpful tactics to protect themselves against danger. With your approval we will begin building a proper demonstration for the classroom._

Hermione read and reread her paper. Short and to the point. That's all she can handle at the moment. She just wanted to begin the project and start her idea of the fun part.

She placed it in her bag and grabbed her robe.

She headed out to meet Ginny before class. Ginny wanted to talk to her about the Seamus situation and how to deal with it. It wasn't really on Hermione's to do list today. There was no way she could avoid Ginny's persistence. So though she didn't want to, Hermione headed to meet her friend by the Great Hall.

"Hermione!" Ginny came rushing over as Hermione made her way down the staircase.

"Hey Gin." Hermione said with little enthusiasm. "So what did you need to talk to me about?" For some reason Hermione was hoping Ginny had forgotten about Seamus and would move on about it.

See Hermione really did like Seamus. Really she did. She was just having a difficult time moving past that embarrassing display of emotion she executed. It still made it difficult to be in the same room with him. It wasn't just her avoiding him either. Seamus hadn't attempted to speak to her. What was going to happen when they were going to have their first patrol together? Would he just pretend she wasn't there? She shuddered at the thought.

"Hermione you know what I wanted to talk to you about. Seamus? Remember him? You've only been avoiding him for the past few days. It's sort of rude Hermione. You kiss the fella then you blow him off? Not very polite eh?" Ginny had this condescending tone in her voice.

This infuriated Hermione. What did Ginny know about this situation? She never had to try with boys. She always had the perfect hair and the perfect shape. The perfect everything. Now she has Harry. How can Ginny sit there and speak to Hermione like she was the only one doing something wrong?

"I thought you would've handled this a little more elegantly Hermione. Like an adult? Boys aren't going to work things out for themselves you know. They wait for us to do it for them. It's better that way. Never have a man do a woman's job. Now we have to find a way that you can make it up to him. To apologize for toying with his emotions like that." Ginny sat on a bench placed outside the hall. She got her thinking face on and looked up at Hermione.

Hermione was so furious.

"Excuse me? Me being the one that is impolite? I made my intentions rather clear don't you think? He's the one that ignored me. Seamus hasn't said a word or even looked my way since that night. How dare you say it's me that is rude? I'm the one that should be on the receiving end of an apology. This is outrageous!" Hermione was so enraged that she just stormed off. She couldn't bear to look at her friend anymore she was so angry.

Ginny yelled from behind, but she had crossed a line that Hermione wasn't able to quickly forgive.

She was practically running down the hall. Tears were swelling in her eyes and she couldn't hold them back for much longer. She began to speed up and headed up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. It was the closest place she could think of where no one would potentially stumble onto her.

She raced up the stairs to the top of the tower. Once she reached the top she could hardly stop and crashed into the railing surrounding the outer rim of the tower. She was balling her eyes out now. The tears were flowing past her cheeks. Her eyes were stinging and her heart was racing.

She didn't understand why Ginny was getting involved like this. She was supposed to be Hermione's best friend. Instead Ginny was basically scolding Hermione for not going out of her way and speaking to Seamus. Ginny should be there for support, not there to make her feel worse. Hermione was hurt by the lack of care Ginny had in her voice. It made Hermione sad and angry that Ginny would just ignore her feelings like that.

Then to say Hermione owed Seamus an apology. That went too far. Hermione really did nothing she needed to apologize for. At first she thought that would be the right choice to make, but then again she wasn't particularly sorry for doing it. She wanted to kiss him and she did. So be it. It's Seamus's move. Not hers.

So how dare Ginny jump on her like that. It was uncalled for. Hermione felt slightly betrayed. Foolish, she knew, but still. It hurt thinking that she didn't have anyone to talk to about this.

She felt alone again.

Hermione stood there and let herself have a good cry in private. The last thing she needed was an audience to watch her melt into a pathetic little puddle. She couldn't handle more public humiliation.

"Get yourself together girl. You're stronger than this." Hermione tried pepping herself up. She had to get to class. The project proposal was due in ten minutes.

"Granger?" Hermione jumped at the voice from behind.

She spun around on her heels to face the owner of the voice. She got a shiver down her spine when she locked eyes with Draco.

"What are you doing up here Malfoy?" Hermione was now wiping the tears from her cheeks trying to stay strong in front of him.

"Well if you must know, this is where I come to think at times. Not that it's any of your business." Draco took a few steps toward her and noticed the redness in her cheeks and the trails of tear stains remaining on them. "And what are you doing up here?"

Hermione stiffened at this. She couldn't tell him that she ran away up here to hide from the problems falling into her lap. "That is none of your business either."

"Well excuse me Granger. Little snippier than we were this morning are we? What happened? Someone hurt your precious feelings?" Draco said from up on his pedestal.

"You're a little more of an ass than you were this morning aren't you?" Hermione went to storm past him, but he grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

Draco felt bad by invading her and her privacy. "Look Granger, I'm sorry. I'll leave you to whatever it was you were doing. I'll go about my way." Draco nodded his head and made his way to the stairs.

Hermione was stunned by his graciousness. "Thank you." Hermione said as she backed down from her exit.

Again Draco nodded and moved down the stairs. Before he was completely out of sight he turned to her. "Look I don't know what's going on, but don't let someone bother you like that. Whoever makes you feel like shit isn't worth your time." With that he left.

Hermione couldn't be any more confused. Draco Malfoy was just blatantly kind to her for no reason. He didn't have to leave, but he did. For the past couple of days he has been remarkably nice to her. He'll have his moments where his crummy personality shines through, but then he'll show remorse, apologize and go about his way. It's strange. Something is going on. Could he be up to something?

She had to figure it out. His angle. There was no way she could feel comfortable living and working with him unless she knows what he is up to. She must find out. She will.

Hermione brushed off her cheeks and fixed her hair. Straightened out her robes, grabbed her bag and made her way to class.

This year hadn't gone at all as she expected yet. It was oddly unnerving to think that she had no concrete expectations or predictions of what would happen next.

Everything was up in the air.


	6. Chapter 5 Revealing The Boy's True Inten

**Chapter 5 – Revealing The Boy's True Intentions**

"_It isn't .. to Hushabye Mountain. … boat waits down by the quay. The winds of night … sighing. Soon they will … worries to sea."_

Draco rubbed his face into his pillow. The hum of a song was drifting into his room. He opened his eyes slightly and they were met with a painful light. He moan and flipped over so his back was to the sunlight. He was so tired.

He had his first patrol with Greengrass last night and she kept him busy. Well she kept herself busy. Draco was just there counting the moments until he could escape her.

When he wasn't pretending to listen to every mindless thing she was going on about, Daphne had him pinned up against a wall shoving her tongue down his throat.

Now normally Draco wouldn't mind this, because, well because he is a guy and that's what guys would normally enjoy.

This time, with her, it just felt awkward.

He wasn't interested in Daphne. At first he figured it would be just another check off his long waiting list. Now it seemed pointless. She didn't hold his attention. Everything she talked about was just noise in Draco's ears. Looking at her now, Daphne seemed too done up. Her makeup was plastered on thick and her hair was always perfect. Her skirts were hiked up high with her blouse unbuttoned just enough. Trying so hard for the attention of whoever will give it to her. At that moment she had he sights set on Draco.

It wasn't appealing to him anymore. Not after noticing what simple beauty looked like.

Yesterday morning when he stumbled across Hermione in her sleep he noticed how delicate she looked. Innocent. He couldn't erase that image out of his mind. No matter how hard he tried. It was engrained permanently. That type of beauty was what he was interested in. Not Hermione herself. No. Just the idea of a girl who doesn't try so hard to impress. Who doesn't give a damn about what a guy says about her. The kind of girl that is smart and persistent about what she wants. That sort of girl was what excited him.

Not Daphne Greengrass and her unbuttoned blouse thrusting him up against a wall. It was unappealing. She just seemed desperate and pathetic.

Yet he didn't stop her right away. Mainly because he was beginning to fear that it was possible Hermione Granger was the only girl that possessed those exact qualities he was searching for. That maybe the only reason he found "that girl" attractive was because of Hermione. So he tried to ignore that nagging thought and suck it out of him using Daphne's mouth.

It unfortunately wasn't a success. In the end he pushed Daphne back by her shoulders. Then began to walk away. He just couldn't pretend to enjoy it.

"Draco darling, did I do something to displease you?" Daphne said with a sob in her throat.

Draco had to keep up his appearance. If any one of his friends found out he turned down a sure thing, well they'd probably think he had gone mad. So he was going to be cruel and cold. Like expected.

"I am not your darling, Greengrass. We are nothing. I was willing to mess around with you for the pure entertainment it would have brought me. Alas, you did not measure up to my expectations. I am deeply disappointed. You seemed to have had such potential for a great shag. Shame." He shrugged as he turned away from her and retreated down the hall.

He wanted to get as far away from her as he could before the tears began to flow. He felt terrible. He was just an awful git to an undeserving girl. He had to do it though. Otherwise his mates would begin to suspect something was off and start prying. He couldn't let that happen. Not when he didn't quite know what they would find if they did. He didn't know what he was thinking anymore.

He returned to the Head's Quarters. The lights were out and the common room was quiet. Hermoine seemed to have retired for the evening. He signed the check in book then headed to bed.

Now he was waking up to a quiet singing. He had never heard the song before. It was sweet and low. If it wasn't for the beaming sun, it would have been a nice way to wake up. He got up and moved to his doorway. As he got closer the words got a clearer.

"_A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain. Softly blows across Lullaby Bay. It fills the sails of boats that are waiting. Waiting to sail your worries away."_

Draco cracked the door open and saw Hermione fixing herself breakfast. She was spinning and twirling throughout the kitchen as she sang.

"It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain. And your boat waits down by the quay. The winds of night so softly are sighing. Soon they will fly your worries to sea." Hermione twisted around the table with a bowl of fruit and tea. She set them in front of her chair and scurried over to the desk and grabbed the Quibbler.

"So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain. Wave goodbye to the cares of the day. And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain. Sail far away from Lullaby Bay." She ended the song as she plopped down into her seat.

Unaware of her audience Hermione went about eating her fruit and reading the paper. Oblivious to the fact that she had just given the performance of her lifetime.

Draco wasn't aware of the smile plaster foolishly across his face. He was completely mesmerized by her. She was just goofing off and acting like the young girl she was. It was the first time all year Draco had seen her without worry in her face. She looked happy. Draco couldn't help but smile.

So not to startle her he shut his door quietly then reopened it as he normally would.

Hermione looked over her shoulder at him and gave a half smile. She still wasn't sure what his game was. He had to have something ready up his sleeve.

Anyway she was too busy thinking about how she wasn't looking forward to seeing her friends today. After Ginny spoke so horribly to her, well Hermione wasn't ready to speak to her just yet. She was sure Ginny had talk to Harry and Ron about it. Which meant Lavender knew. So basically all her friends were probably laughing at her behind her back.

It made her want to stay in her bed all day.

Draco was a little disappointed. Whatever happiness Hermione had just moments ago vanished the instant his presence was known. He wanted to try and see if he could pull it back out of her. Try and be civil, show her he's not the twat she believes he is. He promised his mother.

"Morning Granger. Lovely day." Draco strolled over to the counter and poured himself a cup of tea with the leftovers Hermione had left.

Hermione choked slightly on her sip. She looked up at him with question. What was he on about?

"Yeah. Splendid thanks." She wasn't buying his cheery appearance.

"Busy schedule today?" He turned with an expression that resembled sincere interest.

Hermione was baffled. His act was good. Flawless.

"I was thinking about staying in and having myself a good read." She said without embarrassment.

Draco cocked an eyebrow at her. "Reading on a Saturday? Are you daft girl? It's the weekend and you're spending it sitting on your ass?"

Hermione gave him a glare that would send shivers down a guy's spine.

"I'll inform you that reading it a perfectly acceptable way to spend my day. It's imaginative and you can learn a great deal." She returned to her meal, fully confident in her idea of excitement.

"You amaze me Granger. I have yet to meet a girl like you. The rest of them are all concerned about their looks and boys. Yet here you are, barred up in your room with your books. Not caring about your appearance or what the boys say about you. It's interesting to say the least." Draco grabbed an apple from the fridge and bit into it.

He wasn't even looking at her. He was just going about his business without the courtesy to look her in the eye as he tried to insult her. Hermione was astounded how simple it was for him to make rude comments without even sounding like he put forth an effort. She knew his nice act wouldn't last that long. Here he was setting up his attack. Making small, under the radar remarks about her looks and activities. Like she wouldn't see it coming. She knew he was being too nice. He was just leading her to believe that so her guard was down enough for an attack.

Well she caught onto him quick enough for that plan to fail. So she was going to shut him down before he got the chance to harass her.

"You know what Malfoy, you know nothing about me or what I am interested in. So what if I enjoy being intelligent enough to have a civilized conversation. One that doesn't involve what shoes look best with my wand or what boys have the best jaw lines. I enjoy having a brain, thank you. As for me not being interested in boys, well you're dead wrong. I am interested in boys. A boy. Seamus to be exact. We kissed and everything. I believe he might ask me to the winter dance. So you can stop your insults before they start. I don't want to hear them and you'll just be wasting your breath." Hermione stood up and stormed into her room.

She slammed the door behind her and paced her room. He was infuriating. How is it possible that he has the ability to work her up so easily? She had just wasted breath trying to justify the things she did to him. Why? He wasn't worth the effort. She needed to get out of the quarters. Away from him.

Draco stood there shell shocked. He wasn't trying to be insulting. He should have assumed thought that any of his comments would be taken that way. His reputation didn't scream "nice small talk". He should have known that Hermione might see it as an attack.

The thing that was bothering him the most was that she likes Seamus? Seamus Finnigan?

Of course. That slimy bloke had his eye on her since day one this year. Hermione probably melted from all the attention.

Funny though, how he hasn't seen them together or that Finnigan hadn't stopped by once. Not much of a relationship. Draco wasn't fully sold on the courtship. There was more to it than Hermione let on.

Suddenly Hermione came charging out of her room with her bag, headed to the door with intense speed.

"Going somewhere Granger?" Draco was pushing it, he knew that, but he was irritated at how quickly she judged his actions.

Hermione whipped around so quickly Draco thought she might topple over.

"Alright Malfoy, I'm going to let you in on something. Your little chums from the Slytherin house might find your snide comments amusing entertainment. But the rest of us. The ones that aren't kissing your ass on a daily basis. We find you pathetic. Making people feel lower than you? Beneath you? Is that the only way you can make yourself feel good enough? You act like you're better than everyone. But guess what Draco, you're not. Doing all that, belittling others, makes you worse. You're a horrible person. The lowest there is. It's amazing how many girls find you appealing. Any girl foolish enough to fall for you deserves all that pain and suffering you bring. I feel bad for you. But what problems you have are your own doings." Hermione turned and exited with a slam of the door.

Draco was burning with rage.

How dare she attack him like that? What did he do to her? He was just trying to make conversation. Obviously she wasn't going to be open with that idea. No, this was not the end of the conversation. Hermione Granger was not going to get the last word on him.

Draco slammed the apple in his hand onto the counter and raced out the door after her. He ran to catch up to her as she rounded the corner.

He grabbed Hermione by the shoulder and shoved her up against the wall. He had his palms pressed firmly on the wall next to both sides of her head. He was staring down into her eyes and all he saw was complete anger looking at him through the mist of tears pooling behind her lids.

None of that mattered though. She could've having been in hysterics and it wouldn't stop him from the verbal attack he was about to launch.

Hermione had crossed a line.

Any emotions that he had attached to her, that made him slightly care for her, were faded to the back of his mind. He wanted to hurt her. Make her feel beneath him. Draco Malfoy does not stand to be insulted by the likes of her. The old feelings of hatred and disgust were rising in his stomach. He wanted to see her in pain.

"Aw what's the matter Granger? Gonna cry? Good. You filthy bitch. Who gave you the idea that you could say all that and walk away without consequence? I do not allow anyone to speak to me like that. Especially disgusting little Mudblood creatures such as yourself." He stopped and smiled.

He knew just how to get to her. He leaned in a little closer and put on a devious smirk.

"I'm curious actually. You say you and Finnigan have a relationship. How so? I haven't seen you with him. You don't sit near him during meals. He never walks with you anywhere or does anything relating to you. He's never visited the room. In fact… no one has come to visit you. Not at all this year. Looks like little Granger has been put on the back burner. What? Your chums too busy with their relationships to care about you? Poor little Mudblood. All alone with no one to turn to." Draco let out a gust of a laugh.

"Stop it." Hermione said not looking into her eyes. She was shaking with anger now. The words being spat at her were beginning to sting. She didn't know which way her emotions would swing at the moment. She was so upset and it was getting increasingly worse as Draco spoke.

Draco could tell this was killing her. He wanted to finish her off. So he went for the final blow.

"Except your "boyfriend". You have him to tur-. Oh that's right. That was a bunch of lies. You probably just have a crush on him and he wants nothing to do with you. Like everyone one else in your life. You aren't important to them Granger. They use you. Get that through you thick head. Cause you look pathetic following them all like a little puppy all the time. Desperate for their attention." Draco dropped his arms but not his stare. He wanted to see her break completely.

Hermione was trying desperately to hold back the flood of tears. She was so hurt. He was so cruel to go that far with her. To get enjoyment from her pain.

The worst part was that a lot of it was true. She was a second thought to all of her friends now. Knowing that someone like Draco, someone who despised her, saw how she was being left behind killed her. It was so obvious that she wasn't important anymore. She was holding on to what was. She had to wake up and see things for what they were.

Hermione broke and the crying became unstoppable. She slid down the wall to the ground right in front of Draco. She brought her knees into her chest and hugged her legs tight. She rested her forehead on top of her knees and let the tears flow.

Draco watched as she fell to the ground. She slowly became this sloppy mess sobbing before his eyes. It had never been this easy to break her. Maybe it had something to do with the things he chose to say. He picked an apparent sore subject with her. He saw that in her eyes, but instead of stopping he kept going.

That twinge of guilt was clawing at his gut.

He was just so evil. Hitting her intentionally where he knew she wouldn't be able to stand it. Was that really necessary? She was so fragile to begin with. He knew it would be simple to crack her. He didn't have to though. He could have just let her walk away. No, instead he chased her down and threw the harsh reality she's clearly been running from right into her face. Then he proceeded to get enjoyment from it.

He was the disgusting one. Hermione was right. He was an awful person. Seeking enjoyment from other's pain. Just like his father.

"Granger…" Draco broke the silence in between Hermione's sobbing. He didn't know what to say. He just felt like he had to fix what he had just broken.

"Go away Malfoy." Hermione's voice had grown cold. Distant.

He didn't want to leave her alone like this. What the hell was he thinking? "Look, I know I might have gone too-"

"Away. Go away! GO!" Hermione shouted and looked up at him with rage glowing in her eyes.

Draco backed away slowly.

He had made a huge mistake. Any chances he had of being more open towards her were destroyed. He had failed his mother. He couldn't control his emotions when the time called for it.

Even so his emotions took him too far this time. Everything he said to her was awful. It wasn't his place. Especially since he was attempting to change her views on him. He didn't give it enough time. It should have been clear that Hermione wouldn't immediately open her arms to him. He should have known she might take offense to the things he said. Careful, he should have been more careful.

He took off down the hall. He wasn't sure what to do about this.

Granted when he first started with the idea of being kinder to Granger there wasn't a thing to lose. But now that the chance is gone… it makes him feel empty. Defeated.

There is no way Hermione is going to let her guard down in front of him now. That made it worse than anything.

Draco will never see her passed out on the sofa or twirling through the kitchen. He won't be able to watch her chew on her pencil as she worked on her assignments by the fireplace. He couldn't imagine never seeing the wrinkles crease around her eyes when she laughed.

He was an idiot.

Draco just needed some place to think. Somewhere comfortable. To sort through his thoughts. He headed for the Astronomy Tower.

Hermione was still dripping with cries. She couldn't stop.

Why had she never opened her eyes and saw what was going on? Her friends were moving forward without her. She was just sitting on the sidelines waiting until they needed her. Waiting around like a fool.

No one cared to come and see her. To see her new room and where she was spending all her time. There were no invitations to go to town with them or hangout around the castle. Nothing.

It killed her inside.

She cared so deeply about all of them. She would do absolutely anything for them. Yet none of them tried to make the effort for her. They were too busy thinking about themselves.

There lied the problem. Hermione thought too much about others and not enough about herself.

Draco was wrong. Hermione did care about what other people thought. She was always trying to impress people with her accomplishments and skills. She never thought about doing things for herself. Except school work. That is where she threw herself completely.

Now she is alone.

She was isolated from her life now.

Feeling it even more so now since Draco said it all out loud to her. It made it more real. Like she couldn't run from the truth any longer.

She just wasn't important anymore. Hermione needed to find happiness on her own. Without anyone by her side.

She had to stay strong through this. She knew that Harry or Ron would come running once they needed information or help. She couldn't be that person anymore. No more being the fall back.

Hermione Granger is not anyone's second thought. She deserves more than that.

She will have more than that.

Hopefully one day her friends will understand. This was her only choice. They left her only with this option. She couldn't continue on being miserable and waiting for someone to care. For now she had to detach herself completely. She had to move on.

Hermione wiped the tears from her cheeks and recomposed herself. She got to her feet and headed back to her dorm.

There wasn't anywhere else to go right now. All she wanted was a warm bath. Then to curl up in bed with a book.

It was all too exhausting to think about right now. So there would be no thinking for today.

She entered the washroom and undressed. Her clothes spread across the floor as she made her way to the tub. There were already a few articles of clothing on the floor. Probably Draco from earlier.

She turned the faucet on and got it to the right temperature. After lighting a few candles she slipped into the water.

She laid her head on the rim of the tub and closed her eyes. She allowed the warmth the water to seep into her skin and ease away the tension building in her lower back. The smell of the vanilla candles was a much needed touch to help erase the thoughts from her mind.

She felt as though she was about to drift into a halfway state between awake and dreaming when she heard a noise.

I sounded like a creek from a loose floorboard being stepped on.

She brushed it off as it being Draco. Probably returning for another round of abuse.

But when it sounded as though things were being tossed around Hermione sat right up in the tub. Fear shot through her spine.

Quickly she got out and dried herself off as best she could. Dressed herself with the clothing she could find around the bathroom.

She grabbed her wand and moved to the door way.

Nerves were shaking more than ever. She could hardly steady her hand as she reached for the doorknob. She opened the door softly so not to make a noise.

Peeking through the crack she looked for who was making the noise.

Hermione's fears were confirmed as a dark figure was scrimmaging around by Draco's room. She didn't know what to do. Attacking could result in a full blown fight and she didn't know how skilled this person was. They had to be somewhat of a decent wizard to get by Dumbledore's protective charms as well as the Aurors.

For all she knew they were specifically looking for her. It could be a Death Eater. He could have been sent by the Dark Lord to kill her.

What better way to get Harry Potter's attention that to kill one of his best friends? Well assumed best friend. Still nonetheless this situation was far too dangerous for her to start an attack.

Defense was her only option. Yet only if it became necessary. She would attempt a retreat. If she were to be attacked whilst trying to escape, then her only option would be to fight. She hoped it wouldn't come to that.

She took a heavy breath and slipped through the door as quietly as she could.

Slowly she crept through the main room. On the opposite side the intruder had successfully unlocked Draco's bedroom door and was making its way inside.

Suddenly the shadowy figure froze. Hermione's heart stopped. It had heard her. She was about to make a run for the door when the figure turned around and spoke.

To Hermione's great surprise it was a female voice.

"Ms. Granger I presume? It's hard to tell with the lights off." The witch flicked her wand at the fireplace and roaring flames burst from the pile of wood.

Hermione's eyes squinted to see past the glow separating the two of them.

Hermione knew this woman. She just couldn't make her out fully with all the shadows disguising her features.

The woman made her way towards the sofa and sat down. Her face became fully visible now and Hermione's grip on her wand tightened.

It was Draco's mother. Narcissa Malfoy.

"Come child sit." Narcissa patted the couch beside her.

Hesitantly Hermione followed what was requested of her. Narcissa didn't seem to want to cause harm, but she was the mother of Draco, so Hermione had to stay on her toes.

Hermione sat down next to Narcissa and just stared forward at the fire. It was a good long awkward silence before anyone spoke.

"I know this might seem strange to you. Me being a Malfoy sitting here with you." Narcissa peered at Hermione out of the corner of her eye.

"Slightly." Hermione whispered. She didn't know how to react. This was nothing of the normal for her. The Malfoy family as far as Hermione had ever seen, was not kind and warm. Narcissa though, she seemed to have a different feel to her.

"I'm not here to harm you dear. I understand this is uneasy. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my Draco." Narcissa patted her lap nervously.

Hermione wasn't sure how to take all this. So she'll bite. She'll hear Narcissa out. "So why are you here?"

"I have to go away for some time. Away to find… to find my sister, Andromeda. I need to. I'm scared for her." Narcissa paused to choke down the knot in her throat.

"I was originally going to leave this note in his room. Instead could you deliver it to him?" She pulled a sealed letter from her cloak and went to hand it to Hermione.

"No, no I can't. Draco and I are not on the best of terms. It just wouldn't seem right." Hermione scooted away from Narcissa slightly. The conversation became much more uncomfortable with that request.

"I know Draco can be hard to handle sometimes. He gets that from his father. An unfortunate side effect of spending his youth looking up to that man." Narcissa got a disgusted look to her. Like the taste of speaking of Lucius made her nauseous.

"But there is more to Draco than he lets on. He is a kind and loving soul deep down. He's just never been taught how to handle that type of emotion. All he knows is what he's been taught. Sadly my efforts were outwitted by Lucius's need to create a smaller version of his self. Someone to carry on his great ideals and beliefs. It's horrendous what he has done to my baby boy." A tear trickled down the side of Narcissa's cheek.

Hermione felt awful. She never considered that there was more to this family than what outer appearances let on. Narcissa clearly did not share Lucius's beliefs and hate. It was saddening to see a mother in so much pain over her child.

Hermione place her hand onto Narcissa's.

There was no shock of resistance. No pulling away. In fact Narcissa grasped Hermione's hand in return.

"I see more for Draco. He has such potential in the world. He can do great things. Only if he'd open his eyes. He just needs to be a little more receptive to other people. If he did that, boy he'd be an amazing person. The closed mindedness is what is destroying his light." Narcissa stood and looked down at Hermione.

"Please give this to him. He needs to know I'll be alright. Otherwise he'd come searching for me and in the end getting hurt. I cannot have that." Narcissa placed the letter on the table before Hermione and walked to the fire place.

"I asked him to try. The last time I saw him, right after Ted was murdered, I asked him to try. To be more open to the world around him. To be more accepting. And to not worry about blood purity and all the hate that is brought with it." Narcissa opened the portal to leave the dormitory.

"Is he capable of it?" Hermione wasn't sure if she should have gone that far, but she figured Narcissa would be the only one that could possibly know.

Narcissa looked to Hermione with sincerity in her eyes. "Yes my child. I believe he is. I also believe he will try. He's never been one to let me down before. If he hasn't made an effort yet… just give him time. Draco is not his father. He will never be his father. His heart is good and pure. Darkness is only blanketing that. It hasn't completely taken over. Please Ms. Granger, don't shut him down right away. It isn't what he's use to. He probably won't be the best at it. Just give him the chance to be who I know he can be." Narcissa nodded and stepped into the fire place and disappeared into the ashes.

Hermione sat there staring at the letter in front of her.

Narcissa cared so deeply for Draco. It was clear that there was something in Draco that might not be on the surface. Something deep, deep down could be good.

"Oh my." Hermione gasped at her ignorance.

Had he already tried? Draco had already been unbelievably nice recently. It's been out of character. Maybe he had already been trying. Maybe there was no underlying plan behind what he had been doing.

How blind could she have been? She was equally as closed minded as she believed him to be.

She picked up the note and played with it for a bit. Flicking it between her fingers. She began to think about what Narcissa was about to do. Going to hunt for her sister. That was extremely brave. Leaving a man like Lucius must be no simple task. It must be terrifying to say the least.

It really made Hermione think. If Narcissa has such a great personality, maybe Draco had received some of that quality. Maybe he's more like Narcissa, instead of being an evil, hateful man like his father.

She took the letter and placed it over by the log in book by the portrait hole.

Hermione didn't find it her place to personally deliver the letter to Draco. Especially after everything that happened earlier. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet. Maybe soon, but not tonight. She still had to let go of her other friends. She wasn't ready to deal with the drama that is Draco Malfoy.

Hermione turned to put the fire out when she looked down and noticed she was wearing one of Draco's shirts. She must have grabbed it in the panic. It was strange that she didn't even notice that it wasn't hers. She decided not to return it to the bathroom tonight. Instead she would sneak it back at another time. She left the main room and went to her room. She turned down the sheets and climbed into bed.

Tomorrow she would have to face her new reality. Alone.


	7. Chapter 6 Changing Times

**Chapter Six – Changing Times**

Draco had spent a few hours away from the dorm. He just sat in the Astronomy tower going over everything that happened in his head.

He had without a doubt stepped too far.

Yes Hermione had said some hurtful things, but it should have been left at that. She wasn't aware that he was trying to change his ways. There was no possible way she would have just assumed that. So he should have never gone as far as he did. Whether what he said was true or not, it wasn't his business to bring up. He knew she was in the dark and for that he shouldn't have taken her attack to heart.

Now all his efforts were for nothing. Hermione would never welcome his kindness no matter how hard he tried. He had hurt her. He took advantage of her weakness.

Draco tried to remember back to when he wouldn't have given a second thought about attacking her. It was getting harder and harder to get back into that mindset. It wasn't who he was anymore.

On the outside he still tried to keep up his hard appearance so that no one would suspect anything and spread word so that it got back to his father. He couldn't let that happen.

"Malfoy? Bloody hell where have you been all day?" Blaise was waltzing up to Draco's side by the railing. Calm and collected as usual.

Just what Draco needed.

Draco could never tell whether Blaise was on to something or not. Blaise just never let on, he would always wait to show his cards until everyone else had laid theirs out. Blaise Zabini was tactful, cunning. That is why Draco believes they get along so well. They understand each other in that way. They had to come out on top and they would do it well. Blaise knew Draco enough to notice something was different. Draco couldn't help but worry that his friend was beginning to suspect a change.

"I've been busy with classwork. Keeping up the grades. You know making father proud." Draco gave a light chuckle along with a painfully forced smile.

"Ah I see and how are your daddy issues going?" Blaise leaned his elbows on the railing next to Draco and peered out over the castle.

"What are you on about Zabini?" Draco asked even though he could tell Blaise had suspicion. He wasn't going to be the one to expose the secret lurking in the room.

As expected Blaise laughed at the question. "I know you Malfoy. More than Parkinson or Nott. So even though you think you might be fooling them, you aren't fooling me. So what is it? Something has changed. You're different. You aren't the sneering, evil twat I've grown to know. I mean you definitely are still trying, but you're doing a shit job. So come on, tell me what's bothering you." Blaise turned his head down and stared at Draco.

"No. You wouldn't get it Zabini. You just wouldn't understand." Draco wanted so badly to confide in his friend. But he couldn't fully commit to it. His brain was working a million miles per minute. Draco didn't know who to trust or who to believe.

"I'd probably understand better if you'd just explain it." Blaise turned to fully face Draco. He didn't seem to want to drop the topic anytime soon.

"I wouldn't even know how to explain!" Draco shouted out of pure frustration. He clenched his fists and slammed them against the rail. He wasn't angry because of Blaise, but because nothing was easy. It all had to be so goddamn difficult and he always got hit with the shit end of the stick.

Blaise looked deeply concerned for Draco.

From the outside Draco and Blaise appear to be two coldhearted Syltherins. Though no one else saw it, they were human. Most of the house watched out for one another. Especially Blaise to Draco. Blaise had begun to notice the attention and pressure Draco was beginning to receive from the Dark Lord last year sometime. It unnerved Blaise. He couldn't rightfully sit back and watch his friend be put up for slaughter. The rumors of what Draco would be expected to do were suicide missions. Acts that not even the most insane person would agree with their own free will to perform.

"If I tell you mine… you tell me yours." Blaise straightened up and smoothed down the front of his blazer.

Draco looked into Blaise's eyes. He needed to see some confirmation of trust. He had to make sure it was still there. Blaise was serious. He stood tall and confident. Like he wanted Draco to believe him. In the end Draco nodded to Blaise and accepted his offer.

"Alright." Blaise let out a long sigh as though his secret was going to take effort to reveal. "This whole bloody war is exhausting Malfoy. The constant torture of not knowing when or where. The need to always act like pure shit to everyone. The pressure. I don't know if it's what I want. No... I know it's not what I want. Never has been really. I was just dishonest with myself. I just figured the wrong way was the easy way. Side with the power right?" Blaise wiped his forehead with the backside of his hand.

"You don't believe in the cause anymore?" Draco said shocked. Honestly so. Blaise had always seemed pretty confident in his choices. Draco never once saw even a hint of uncertainty in Blaise.

"And you do? You believe stripping people from their rights is justified? I never have and I really don't believe you do either. I just never had the balls to do anything about it. I'm tired Draco. So bloody tired of putting on this act. It's not worth it. What the Dark Lord is doing is not right. He is on a mission of revenge. He doesn't care who else is harmed or killed. We're just his little test dummies thrown into the fire to try and weaken its defenses. We don't matter to him. I don't back anyone who doesn't stand by his followers. I want a leader who fights for everyone. Not themselves. I do not want to be a pawn in someone's twisted game. I won't be." Blaise was squeezing the railing tightly.

Draco turned to Blaise. In that moment he knew that he indeed had a true ally. "I don't. I don't want to follow in my father's footsteps. I can't be him. Never. I don't believe what he believes. I don't really think I ever had. I was afraid too. Afraid of what would happen if I disobeyed."

They both caught each other's eye and burst out into a fit of laughter. Who knew they would be standing here, side by side, about to dishonor their family names. Together.

"So this is what you've been distancing yourself for? Because you thought you'd be condemned or thrown to the wolves?" Blaise gave Draco a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"I honestly don't know Blaise. I suppose that was part of the reason. Really I just didn't want to involve any of you. Eventually this will all come to a head. I didn't want you or Pansy or even Nott to get punished for my choices. And if you knew you would have been. But now you're doing it all by yourself." Draco smiled. More out of relief that he felt a little less alone.

"We'll do it together. No need for us to struggle alone. Though I agree on not involving the other two. Unless the come to it on their own, they shouldn't have to deal with the consequences we receive." Blaise sounded so sure about it. So confident.

Draco would give anything for a moment a peace. Just a sliver of time where everything felt to be as it should.

"So that's it then? That's everything you've been bottling up?" Blaise had that all knowing look again. It bugged the hell out of Draco. Mostly because his privacy was being invaded.

"Yeah. I've just been battling with myself. I just don't really know how to deal with it all." Draco rubbed his thumbs across his eyebrows and looked out as the sun was setting.

"Well hopefully your advances with Granger will be met and you'll have more of an idea about Muggles and what they are like." The cheesiest of all grins plastered itself across Blaise Zabini's face.

Stuttering to regain control of this situation Draco stumbled over his words to spit out an excessive amount of nonsense. "You're bloody mad Zabini. Granger? You think I'd waste my time on the likes of her? Regardless of her blood status she is incredibly insufferable. I can hardly live with her. Befriending her is entirely out of the question." Amazed at the babble he had just produced, Draco stood in an uncomfortable moment of silence as Blaise figured out how to respond.

"Convincing as that was. Really I applaud your efforts Malfoy. It's just that it's hard to believe you. Especiallly when I see you staring at her from across the dining hall and through the corridors. Or how suddenly you became more involved in your assignment for Snape's class. I'm sure for your average bloke those incidences could be read wrong and there be nothing behind them, but with it being you I know that there is something going on there. Now let's have it. What have you been up to with Granger?" Blaise moved over to a bench that was placed alongside a wall and took a seat to ready himself.

"Listen, nothing has been going on. It's just… I figured it would be easiest to practice with Granger. You know, getting to know the way Muggles think and act. I obviously had nothing to lose if things didn't pan out. I mean… she's the only Mud- Muggle I know enough to at least have an idea about what I'm getting myself into." Draco let the words fall to the floor hoping Blaise would pick them up with understanding.

Blaise nodded. Draco wasn't sure if it was acceptance or if Blaise just really had no idea how to respond. The silent waiting was torture. Draco was so close to having someone there to share the burden with him, now he might have just lost it with the whole Granger charade.

Finally Blaise relieved the tension that was building and spoke. "And how is Granger responding to your new friendlier self?"

"About as standoffish as can be expected. I mean, I haven't tried to be over the top nice to her. Just small talk here and there. Working cooperatively on the class assignment. Other than that I haven't gotten too far. Now though it'll probably never get anywhere. Even when I'm trying not to be an ass, I excel at it tenfold." Draco walked over to the bench and joined his friend's side.

"Well you strive to be the best at everything Malfoy, being an ass has never been excluded before. What did you do to her?" Blaise looked concerned and also as though he wasn't sure if he really wanted the answer.

"Things are different now. I don't want to be a twat to people anymore. It's just so hard to keep trying to change. I just want to be… good. I want to sort it all out and be done with all of this." Draco was building up into frustration again.

Blaise being the good friend worked on bringing him back down. "I get it Draco. But it isn't going to be so simple. It's going to take time and work. But like anything you've done, once you've decided to do it, you exceed expectations. You've done it with the bad all your life. Focus and you can be better at the good. Fuck, I sound like a bloody psychiatrist. Dr. Zabini at your service." Blaise stood and did a little bow before sitting back down.

Draco couldn't help but chuckle. He was glad to have someone to talk with now. He didn't need to bottle it all up anymore.

"So this whole "it isn't going to go anywhere" problem… what happened?" Blaise wanted to know how far Draco was still capable of falling back into his old ways.

Draco ran his hands through his hair and rested them softly on his legs. "I was attempting to make conversation, which I'm still not aware how to go about that with her but anyway, she took it the wrong way and stormed out of the room. She reappeared suddenly and began shouting foul things at me, which were all completely true about the old me, then she ran from the dormitory. Unfortunately the old me surfaced just in time to catch her in the corridor. I basically threw her shattering life in her face and… I felt disgustingly good about it. In that moment I couldn't hurt her more, but the moment the rage faded I had regretted following her out of the dorm. I blew it and now no one will accept my efforts to change. If Granger can't, I don't believe it's possible."

"Well this is shocking. Not once did I ever fathom witnessing Draco Malfoy give up. Pathetic honestly. I thought you had more fight in you. Bloody come on Draco, get over yourself. No one is going to embrace you just because you bat your eyes and bust out a smile. You have to work on it. Bloody hell. So Granger put the reinforcements up to block you out, break them down you idiot. You're not a quitter. That's one quality you can be glad your father handed down." Blaise stood to leave.

"Try Draco. You'd be surprised at how forgiving people can be if you just try. If someone is going to let you in, it'll be Granger. Her heart is too good to give up on someone." With a nod Blaise took off down the spiral staircase.

Draco got up went to the railing to take one last look over the grounds before heading back to his rooms. It was peaceful. Everything settling in for the night. Dusk setting in. Birds flying home, while straggling students hurried across the courtyard to avoid being late for curfew. The sounds were soothing. Draco found solitude in this moment. A break from his mind and the tortures lurking within. He focused on the life moving on around him. Unaffected by the evils that are waiting in the shadows. He wished only for a moment of that ignorance. He knew better though. The reality of his life flushed back into his thoughts and took away from the beauty below him.

Disappointed by the inability to avoid thinking on the dark events to come, Draco left the tower and made way back to the Head dorms.

Draco was taking his time closing the distance between him and the dorm. Inside, Hermione was probably stewing over what Draco had done. She had probably gone over hundreds of scenarios on how to curse him the moment he set foot in the door. He deserved it, without a doubt.

But to his surprise the main room was dark and unoccupied when he arrived. Hermione must have gone to bed early.

Draco shrugged it off. It gave him extra time to come up with a deserving apology. Though he didn't really believe any amount of apologizes could make up for his actions.

He made his way over to the sign in book and found the envelope with his name written across the front. He signed in to prevent consequence, grabbed the envelope and went to his bedroom.

He flung the letter onto the bed and lit the bedside candle.

Before settling on the mattress, Draco removed his shirt and trousers. With only boxers remaining he climbed under the sheets.

Draco picked up the envelope and twirled it around in his fingers. The handwriting was familiar. Not enough to know whose it was before opening it. So with curiosity Draco peeled back the flap of envelope and removed the letter inside.

It was a single piece of paper. About a paragraph long. The handwriting looked rushed. As though the sender's hand was shaking as they wrote down their thoughts.

Draco took an unsure breath and began to read the letter.

_My dearest Draco,_

_I know this might not make sense to you right away. You will probably be very upset with me once you read on. Just know I love you Draco. You are my world and I cannot allow myself to put you in a position of harm. As long as you are at Hogwarts you are safe. As long as you are there, I believe you will learn to make the right decisions._

_I have left in search of your aunt._

_I could not tell you in person, because as you without a doubt know, you would have either demanded accompanying me or insist I not go. I must do this alone my boy._

_I just will not allow must sister to fade away completely from my life. I have already let her drift away for too long. The time has come for me to make amends and seek her out._

_I am sorry you have to learn of my journey in this way. But this is how it had to be Draco._

_Stay safe. Stay strong. But most of all, remember to open your heart. I cannot stress enough the importance of an open mind and an understanding heart. Live Draco. Enjoy life and the people that touch yours. I am so proud of the boy you are and the man you are going to become._

_I love you Draco._

_-Mother_

Draco's heart fell from his chest. His breath cut short. His thoughts were scratching his brain with panic.

His mother had taken off on a one woman mission. A foolhardy one at that. Narcissa had no idea where Andromeda was taking refuge. There were no real clues to insist that Andromeda was even still alive. It was awful of Draco to think like that, but right now all sorts of insane thoughts were dashing through his mind. His mother was on a search with no safety, no one to protect her. Yes she's a great witch, but there are some horrible people out there that would see Narcissa as a target.

Nerves were shooting through Draco's body. He didn't know what to do. Going after her was out of the question. Where on Earth would he begin looking? How did his mother even know where to look? It was all so confusing and it scared the hell out of Draco.

Should he seek advice from Blaise? Dumbledore or Professor Snape? Is there someone he could turn to and guarantee that his father would not find out?

That could not happen. Lucius could never catch on to Narcissa's plan. If he was too… Narcissa would not survive his wrath. Lucius was most likely going to assume something strange in Narcissa's absence. Draco had to prevent Lucius from discovering the true nature of his mother's disappearance for as long as he could.

All Draco wanted was to protect his mother. To make sure she was safe and unharmed. How is he supposed to do that when he has no idea where she is?

Draco threw the letter across the room and flung his sheets from his body. He rose from the bed with a surge of anger.

How could his mother do this to him? She obviously knew how he would react. Why put him through this? He could have helped. He could have helped better prepare her. Even make sure she knew where to begin looking. Instead of her just taking off into the night with no direction.

Draco couldn't control his anger. He punched his fist powerfully into the wall.

Even though no impression was made on the wall, looking at his bloody fist, the damage had been done. Draco shook his hand in an attempt to relieve some pain. It didn't ease it. At all.

The sting was becoming increasingly worse when a breeze from the open window hit the gash across his knuckles.

Strangely he enjoyed it.

The pain coursing through his nerves was a distraction. His mind focused solely on that. It was only for a few brief seconds, but in those moments he could forget about everything crumbling down around him. He didn't want the pain to stop. It hurt like hell, but the pain of possibly losing his mother and the stress of what was to come hurt far more than he could handle.

So he punched the wall again and again and again. Until blood was trickling down his arms and dripping to form a pool on the floor. The pain was so intense and Draco loved it.

His adrenaline was pumping full strength all through his veins. He enjoyed the feeling brought on by the pain. His mind was distracted and he wanted the keep it that way. Unfortunately the pain eventually subsided and his mind quickly snapped back into place.

Draco dropped to the floor and huddled his head into his knees. He let the sobs flow and shook in agony.

Why when he was trying to turn his world around, is it all falling apart? He just wanted things to be over. This issue with Hermione. His mother on this ridiculous mission. The fear of his father. The war. It was all too much. Even if something worked out, there would be something else to break.

Draco was shaking uncontrollably. His cries were loud and full of agony. His stomach ached and his eyes stung. He couldn't stop. He was losing it.

Suddenly a quiet tap came from the other side of his door. Draco's mouth snapped shut and he silenced his crying. He didn't dare move. Why was she tapping at the door? He didn't want to deal with her.

"_Malfoy? Is everything okay in there? There was pounding coming from in there. Are you alright?"_

Hermione's soft voice traveled in from the main room. There was concern. But Draco couldn't handle all of this right now. He needed time before he was confronted with her presence.

"Leave it Granger. Please just go away." Draco tried to calm his emotions. He didn't want to take it out on her. It wasn't her fault.

He heard her footsteps pattering away from the door. He felt relief. Relief that she didn't insist on coming in and witnessing him in his weakened state. Relief that she didn't push him to the point where he would take his anger out on her.

Draco crawled over to his bed and rested his back against the frame. He let out the last of his sobs and took deep breaths to calm his shaking. He then reached up and grabbed his wand to heal his self-inflicted wounds. The last thing he needed was an infection.

Once he was done with those charms, he crawled into bed and shoved his head into his pillow. Sleep was all he could hope for right now. The highs and lows of the day had taken him on an exhausting rollercoaster ride. He needed the day to end in hopes of a fresh new start tomorrow.

Hermione had heard Draco come back into the dorm room just before curfew. Her heart stopped when he came inside. She didn't know if he would read it right in the main room or take it into his. So she waited until she heard his bedroom door close before she exited hers. Luckily he did.

She hurried over to the sign in book to confirm Draco had seen the letter. Once she saw it was gone she waited to see what happened. She anticipated a horrible reaction. She needed to prevent him from doing something stupid.

After a little while she heard some ruffling coming from inside Draco's room followed by some heavy footsteps. Suddenly a loud thud came and the painting on the wall shook slightly from the impact. After that there were a few moments of silence before the pounding started again. The painting almost fell from the wall before the shaking stopped.

That's when she heard the heart breaking sobs.

In that moment she didn't think. She was moving to his door without actually knowing about it. Her inner concern took over for a brief second. Then once she knocked on the door she finally recognized what she was doing. She heard the cries stop and the eerie silence looming behind the door. So she spoke. She figured her first move towards building something between them would be to check on him in a moment of sadness. She knew what was going on and she felt the need to help him.

But as she should have expected Draco denied her attempt at comfort.

So Hermione made her way back to her room to end an awful day.

Hopefully a fresh new day will bring some clarity to the situation. She wanted to get to see if Narcissa's claims were true. Hermione needed to know whether or not Draco Malfoy was capable of changing. She had to find out if he was able to be more than what she has seen so far.

Tomorrow she will try and be open to him. If Draco was still willing to put forth the effort that is.


End file.
